From The Voice Within...

what is happening to the world?

2009-02-16T21:29:00.003+08:00

A 13 year old boy father a baby? what the hell?

This is seriously very sickening. Tgk la that boy's face.. Look at those eyes. Kesian. At 13, dah kene tanggung all those burden. Kids having kids? weird. He is suppose to play around with his mates. Bukan nyer kene tukar nappies anak die.In the video bila org tanya how die nak cari duit for the baby, muka die sangat sangat kesian. Haihh. Dunia dunia.

The best part is there are a few others claiming to be the father of the baby. wtf? That girl must be very *tetttt*. malas nak sebut.

Kids out there, dont ever think of having sex. Later korang menyesal. Nanti dah kawen dah kerja buat la anak puas2. takde sape kesah. kalau tak keje lagi mcm maner nak bagi anak makan, education segala. nak ke anak2 hidup tak sempurna. money is not everything org ckp but money do play huge role utk besarkan anak. remember that.

Till then, see u again soon.

the attack of emosi

2009-02-16T09:04:00.002+08:00

i miss lazing around in kuching.
rinduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

sayangggggggggg
i really miss having u around =(

farah amami
cepat la balitttttt.

mok balittttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

till then, see u again soon

p.s. degil na juak lemak di badan ku tok ehhhh. coba nengar kata kit oooo.

finally.

2009-02-13T21:25:00.005+08:00

I would like to announce that i am getting engaged on 26th of June 2009.

I used to say that im ready to settle down and everything, but masa mr love's mom called and nak confirm pasal this thing, i freaked out. i felt like ade batu besar hit me on the head. baru terasa mcm ohhh aku muda lagi. betul ke aku dah nak kawen ni. yahhh kotan kenja tek mok nikah. dah diberik cuakkkk.

at first, his mom nak srh kawen sekarang. lagi la i takut mcm cibai. then, i told mr love that i nak kawen in 2 yrs time. after dah habes blaja and i dah start keje. but then, his dad ckp lama sgt. urghhh.. i still dont have the answer for that. it's not like i tanak kawen. i seriously want this. tapii i nak kawen pakai my own money. not my parents'.

guess what, i dah bz plan how my wedding will be. the cake, the dress, the reception. lol. been discussing with amy, farah, juan n eman. ohh n jaye pon ade lukis some dresses. haha. (btw, congrats to the the new lovebird.hee.) omg. thanks guys sbb melayan perangai gila kwn korang ni. amy lagilaaa, lukis layout reception and lekat dekat dinding beside my tilam. haha.

this is a bit lame, but terima kaseh to farah for the sweet present. i love it so so much.

i got this set. sukeeee.

Till then, see u again soon.

Innalillahiwainnalillahirajiun.

2009-01-24T16:24:00.007+08:00

OMG. Takut ehhhhh. beliang rasa nyawa, kenak lah sampei ati org ya munoh nya. tekejut ku ehhhh. walaupun aku sik kenal menar ngan arwah tapi tek mlm tadik mek org ke sia juak and nya negor juan. we left around 3am and the thing stat kol 330am gia. kenak sik san nyawa nak.

aku rasa utak ku alu sekpat function. mati ehh gia. nasib jak deke tergerak ati mok balit ke rumah. mun sik tek nak nemu benda2 gia.

Al-Fatihah.

Till then, see u again soon.

*update : click here

Tagged by jaye.

2009-01-13T00:37:00.006+08:00

Directions: Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog or a note on Facebook with sixteen random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose ten people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment (”you’re it”) and to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me, let me know when you’ve posted your blog/note, so I can see your weirdness.

1. I have a really huge ass. Just like the africans.

2. I always feel that i am 27 years old instead of 21.

3. Im so into white guys esp my dearest martin joseph. lol.

4. I love cooking and baking.

5. Everytime mr love left, i would go into my room and cry like a baby but in like one hour time i'll be back to normal and tend to forgot that he just left.

6. I hate to shower. I would only shower in the evening unless i have class.

7. I poop like 3 times a day and i smoke cigs while im pooping.

8. I am choosy when it comes to toilets. I dont use public toilets unless i am totally desperate.

9. I can be the biggest bitch you ever met and yet i can be very nice.

10. I love to dance. esp ngajat. hahahahaha. tipu jer. i just love to dance.

11. My fav song to dance to is kat de luna's whine up.

12. I hate going to class. The only reason i attend the classes is the attendance percentage.

13. I sometimes sleep with my laptop on my tummy.

14. My dream holiday destination is New York city.

15. I love babies and thats why i cant wait to have my own babies.

16. I think i have some mental problems. haha.

Although i need to tag 10 ppl but i will only tag farah, juan n eman.

Till then, see u again soon.

all the love in the world.

2009-01-10T12:50:00.005+08:00

people, i am free as a bird.

after days of not sleeping well, i finished up my exams. 15 more subjects to go plus 6 months of training, ill be completing my degree.

ohh cepat la habes. im so tired of studying. dah on the verge of giving up dah ni. now baru rasa menyesal sbb dropped so many subjects.

anyway, mr love is coming over. happy happy. and of course counting days to meet deke up, after like 2 yrs not seeing each other. been missing him much. i know u miss me too kan. huahauahua. hey bukan perasan tau. he told me so.

and oh yeah. i left a message on someone's ym telling him it was nice knowing him and so on cos hes leaving, and i was being sincere. but tettttt. he didnt reply at all. i wonder why he listen to some rumors, wont listen to my side of story and now ditched me as a fren. i am quite gutted for what he did. i thought he would act like an adult but sadly he didnt.

whatever it is, im happy for what i have right now. nice friends, great partner, loving family. basically, all the love i could never ask for more.

till then, see u again soon

gorgeousness.

2009-01-07T18:09:00.006+08:00

she made my heart melts. she is beautiful. rasa mcm baru semalam jer baby zaraa lahir. how fast time flies. omg. i cant wait to see her. i love u gorgeous.

till then, see u again soon

Especially to my dearest lovely friend...

2009-01-05T21:11:00.004+08:00

Happy 22nd birthday to my dear farah amami marzuki that i miss so bad.
I will always pray for ur happiness and may u have a great year ahead.
I Love You to bits and pieces, so take a very good care of urself.
Cheers!

fuck resolutions.

2009-01-05T13:33:00.006+08:00

everyone's been rambling about resolutions since it's new year. like duhh. haha.

i dont know if i have any serious resolutions for the new year. all those resolutions are for just for the sake of "hey its a new yr. i gotta fucking have some resolutions."

seriously. just some normal a) i have to lose more weights and be healthy, b) get better grades and of course c) fucking go to class. and yet my dad's been planning some vacation which means im gonna miss the class. so whats the point anyway? haha

so all im saying is that im bad with resolutions. i tend to slide back to my old habits. which is kinda frustating.

so im thinking this year, i dont want to make any resolutions. i just wanna hope. haha. my "hope" list for this year goes:

* be a better me this year, physically and emotionally.

* be a better muslim. aminn.

* save money for next yr UK trip.

* stop spending on bullshits
.
* force my dad to buy more pure gold (wahh mcm bapak aku kaya haha but this is important)

* kawen *wink wink* by the end of the year (mission: impossible tettt)

* no more org hitam dan org arab kat mmu. urghh. menyampah. more ang moh please. baru ada choice.

* farah ada boifren, juan ada gelfren arab, eman jadi single haha

* one day i wake up, i am adriana lima.

mcm ni la masa i bangun tu. tekejut i tau.

Till then, see u again soon.

deck the halls with balls of holly fa la la la la la.

2009-01-03T00:24:00.003+08:00

Christmas was awesome! celebrated with frens in Portuguese settlement. Here's what happened that nite:

I'm thankful to have such wonderful frens around. Love u guys to bits. Im totally gonna miss our time together.

Anyway, i would like to wish Happy New Year and Selamat menyambut Maal Hijrah to everyone. Hopefully we are going to be a better person this year.

Till then, see u again soon.

p.s. I just wanna tell u guys again that i love all of u.

OMFG...

2008-12-31T20:55:00.003+08:00

Farah, this is a surprise for u. Pegi carik lelaki hot yg ko suk gila babi. LAWAK.

Till then, see u again soon

p.s. amy n jaye pon ade

Take it or leave it.

2008-12-31T01:25:00.003+08:00

Go to your playlist on your PC/Laptop/MP3/iPod etc, put it on shuffle and as you read each question, click on Next and write the title of the song on play as your answer. Don't cheat! It's funnier that way

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Cool Joke - Undo
-> what a nice joke haha.

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Love - Keyshia Cole
-> sentiasa in love ka aku ini?

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Ruby Soho - Rancid
-> Org laki yg salu bagi jewellery dan akan bawa saya ke soho new york? wahhh. seronok.

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Love Me Do - The Beatles
-> yeahh. mr love is here. i feel loved.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Your Body Is Wonderland - John Mayer
-> aieeeeeeeee. jual badan ka apa?

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Give me tonite - Taylor Hicks
-> give apa kah itu? dalam maksudnya. haha.

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I will always love you - Whitney Houston
-> dah tau dah. haha.

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Nights on broadway - The beatles
-> woww. adakah saya suka berlakon? agakla kan. huahuahauahua.

9. WHAT IS 2+2?
Money Money - Billy Idol
-> wahhhh. duit gitu. tak boleh tgk number. mmg accountant.

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Lelaki ini - Anuar Zain
-> Lelaki ini hensem kawan2 (sambil memberi link gambar kat fb). Oh tidak Lelaki ini tak berapa nak seronok sangat la kawan2 (kasi link lagi). Maksudnya tgk laki jer terus nak poret dgn kawan2. Begitu ke?

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
If tomorrow never comes - Ronan Keating
-> malam ni kita one nite stand? hahahahahaha.

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Pelangi petang - Sudirman
-> wah hidup saya kaler2 tau.

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Dota - Basshunter
-> hah? jadi pemain dota ke? tidak mungkin.

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE
Ngilu - Butterfingers
-> bahagian mana kah yg ngilu itu? hmmmm.

15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I've got you under my skin - Michael Buble
-> Wahhh. Selalu diprotect. terharu terharu.

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Hello - Lionel Ritchie.
-> my parents' fav song i guess sbb dua2 pakai caller tone lagu ini. niceeeeee.

17. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Wherever you will go - The calling
-> heaven la of course. yerrr. konpiden lebeh. doa2 kan lah yer.

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Is this it? - the strokes
-> suka bertanya perhaps? haha.

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Come fly with me - Michael buble
-> aucher kah? my god.

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Because of you - Ne-yo
-> because of u, i am what i am now?

21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
If i never see ur face again - maroon 5 n rihanna
-> yes mr love. if i never see ur face again!!!!!!!!!!!!

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Have yourself a merry christmas
-> aieeee kene bunuh dgn santa claus ke? hahaha.

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
You Give Me something - james morrison
-> betol betol. i regret u gave me something mr morrison!!!! babi.

24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Something in the way - Nirvana
-> erk? tak faham.

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Who's ur daddy - Benny Benassi
-> MY GOODNESSSSS.

26. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
One Last Chance - James Morrison
-> wahh. meaning that one last chance is with mr love if not mmg tak kawen? haahahahaha.

27. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Summertime - Kat de Luna
-> hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha (aku suka lagu ni kot) aku patut dok tempat ade snow je kot. hahaha.

28. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The runaround - taylor hicks
-> mesti jogging banyak2 baru org suka? woww. bole tak?

29. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Confession - Usher
-> yeah. confession aku kepada farah pada satu hari itu.

30. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Taman Tasik Perdana - Butterfingers
-> eh?

31. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Take it or leave it - The strokes

Im tagging Amy, Jaye, Virus n Unte

I am the biggest camwhore.

2008-12-22T19:37:00.004+08:00

I dont have anything to blog. Malas nak menggunakan otak. So lemme share some of the recent pics.

amy yg terpaksa menanggung keberatan kami haha

me.elle.chibi.dol.sharel comel.unte.

unte.amy.dol.me.sharel.

takde caption terlintas di dalam otak

yours truly mengegehkan dirik.

i look so flat chested here.huahuahua.

better chested here haha.

i was born a camwhore.

Yes. I bang-ed my hair. So did amy. Tribute to farah. haha. Tapi bende ni dah basi dah. Didnt blog about the hair cos wanted to surprise mr love last week.

Tapi die tak tekejut pon. Buat muka bodo jer.

Till then, see u again soon

*update: Happy 24th bday to viruschristinaaguilera! May Allah bless u always.

smell me di dalam bahasa melayu adalah cium saya?

2008-12-21T12:35:00.004+08:00

Today my brother went cheap-perfume hunting for me. Poor him. Kakak nya ini sangat demand. Kejap nak ni kejap lagi tak jadi nak tu plak. hahaha. He called me entah brapa kali. Just to make sure it is the right one.

Actually im looking for something aqua-y or citrus-y. Dah bosan dgn sweet scents. I have the perfect one in mind which is Chanel Chance Eau Fraiche but too bad kat kedai tu takde. (hint!)

This is the perfume in case u get the hint kan. hehe.

After 100 times of phone call, he finally bought this:

For him and for her. The one that he bought came in a packaging of 50ml EDT and moisturizer. Guess how much it costs? AUD29 for each pack. Semua sekali AUD58. Since the exchange rate is kinda low which is around 2.35, bila diconvertkan ke our currency, it is around RM140 only for the 2 perfumes ok.

Tapi, of course all costs ditanggung oleh your highness duke of seduction, mr love. hehe. Thanks sayang.

Till then, see u again soon.

p.s. some spoiler. neither serena nor eric is the rufus-lily's child. not sure betul ke tak. and oh ya. aaron rose will be totally vanished from the series. yeay.

love is in the air.

2008-12-19T19:53:00.002+08:00

Dear love,

I'm thankful that u are here with me for these few days. You totally made my day. How i wish that i could freeze the time so that these beautiful moments could last forever.

I know that u are still here but i miss u already =(

Till then, see u again soon

apples of my eyes.

2008-12-15T09:58:00.004+08:00

i miss her

and him

and especially him =(

till then, see u again soon.

i am so horny. please fuck me.

2008-12-12T10:42:00.003+08:00

me n amy have this one new hobby: which is to kacau org in the chat room n stickam. my god. plek2 k manusia2 yg kami jumpai.

what i can say is that the net is full of horny men. gay ke tak gay ke pon sumer desperate giler. guys, korang dah takde cara lain ke nak puaskan nafsu. mcm mana la korang bley turn on kan dgn org yg korang chat tu padahal tak tau pon muka mcm mana. sangat gross ok.

kalo mcm ni tak rasa jijik ke?

at times rasa bersalah la buat mcm tuh but then suka jer nak carik bahan gelak kan. siap kasi number fon la, address rumah la. gambar tak pyh cakap la. yg tunjuk kote pon lagi banyak. sangat tak suka tau. u guys hengat kami ini tersangat la horny sampai nk tgk kote yg dah la kecik, buruk pulak keadaan rupa paras nya itu? totally not. turned off terus tau tak.

tp mmg kelakar la berchat dgn org yg horny2 itu. kesian korang tak pasal2 kene gelak. lupa plak kan nak copy paste perbualan yg memualkan tersebut. kalau ade lagi nnt i post kan.

so guys, jangan la buat perkara2 mcm tu tau. so not cool. kang ade plak number fon korang kene jual ngan kiterang ni.

till then, see u again soon.

p.s. benci nyer real life chuck hookup dgn real life vanessa. chuck, kenapa kah kamu tidak suka dgn real life blair? sedeh tau. my real life nate plak dgn jenny. hahhhhhh.

hotness rank.

2008-12-08T15:28:00.003+08:00

last week celebrated dol's bday. was a small surprise party for him. it was fun lah just to hang out with frens and gelak2 sampai tak hengat dunia.

the birthday boy

our big happy family.

last weekend mmg heaven giler. at last dapat gak jumpe ngan my darling jaye after like almost 3 yrs. we did a lot of catch up sampai jaye dah tertido2. huahauhaua. jaye u kene dtg lagi tau. i miss u already. =(

then there were juan and aiman. u guys totally cheered me up. i had a lot of fun having u guys around. farah jer yang takder tau. if not mmg perfect combination gitu.

pastuh kan. someone proposed to me. an irish guy tau. korang jangan maen2. tak sangka mak ni laku jugak. ajak kawen n dok kat ireland lagi. haha. pengsan aku. kepada org perasan tu kan, jangan jeles tau. i am still a hot stuff walaupon gemuk. ade ko hot mcm aku? haha. aku tau aku keji, jangan tegur.

kasut dah sama so sama la level of hotness kami ini kan? haha

tapi kan, sayang i rindu u (walaupon i sangat suka mat salleh)

till then, see u again soon.

just a short one

2008-12-04T22:53:00.003+08:00

blogging from kurt's house. urghh. laptop yg gila itu membuat hal lagi. tiada apa2 paparan di screen. tension ok.

just wanna share some good news. i'm no longer 90+ girl. officially an 89kg hahahaha. lost another 3 kg. in total dah turun 11kg since august.

ohh i am so happy and so proud of myself.

till then, see u again soon.

mental illness yang dibuat buat.

2008-12-03T21:40:00.003+08:00

i cant wait. juan n eman are coming to malacca. jaye pon sama. jaye! u better betul2 datang tau this time. i miss u so much. we have so much to catch up.

farah, kawu bila gik mok dtg? haha. sik sempat ko dtg melawat aku yg lonely ini di melaka cos by the time kawu balit aku dah pindah to cyber. tp yg penting harus aku pegi ngagak kawu in 2010.

i cant believe how people have changed these days. good gone bad, bad gone good. it surprises me. but thank god for me, ive learned my lessons and i am a better person now. haha. harusla aku memuji diri sendiri kan.

but i have this one bad habit that im trying to get rid of. i just cant stop bitching about ppl. i wonder why do i care so much about what's happening around me. why cant i just totally ignore all of that. most of the times bcos i tak leh control my mouth. urghhh. i do feel terrible after that tapi entahla i just cant stop.

you know what. aku benci org perasan. haha. suka nak merendah2 kan aku yer? adekah kau itu sgt insecure sbb aku sememangnya dilahirkan sangat cantik walaupon aku gemuk and still ade lelaki yg nak kat aku walaupon rupa parasku ini mempunyai lelemak di sana sini? (padehal sayang je nak kat i kan sayang?haha) hmmm. entahla badul.

seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. im bitching again. haha. tp itu luahan rasa sahaja. lupakan.

anyway, happy 21st bday to aizat@dol! may Allah bless u with happiness always.

till then, see u again soon.

bila sudah tiada apa yang hendak diblogkan.

2008-12-02T22:11:00.004+08:00

last nite i went out with amy, kurt, virus, zack, unte n S. S is not for serena ok. that would be me. huahuahua.

first we went to spectrum. ade live band. but too bad band tu syok sendiri. D-U-H-H. then, we decided to go to aloha. best nyer perasaan setelah sudah lama tidak menggoyangkan badan. mmg fun giler la. we danced mcm org gila esp virus. thanx for the fun guys.

the best part of the nite was. jeng jeng jeng. i met someone with another guy kat aloha. my goodness. i was shocked. entahla. mebbe die dah takde ape2 kot dgn the other guy. anyway, malas dah la nak layan cos it's not my problem pon kan.

tapi kan, yg bosannyer takder camera nak capture the good memories. damn. still takde masa nak g beli my cam charger. ade ke tak org jual eh? sayang, if u ade masa tlg carikkan pls.

till then, see u again soon.

*edited. S is my classmate but due to some reasons i cant reveal the name. hehe.

abusive partner is a total no no.

2008-11-30T01:34:00.005+08:00

last nite i watched PENSIL. cerita melayu yer kengkawan. i think kuar kat astro box office jer kot. not sure whether ade kat cinema ke tak. i watched it on youtube. g la search yer.

this movie mmg worth watching. best sangat2. weiii cerita ni sedehh gilerr. i menangis mmg tak hengat dunia. kalah cerita hindustan. pegi la menonton ye kak enon2 sekalian alam semesta.

ok topic lain plak yer. today i heard a really bad news. this one girl, kene pukul dgn balak die. it was so bad that perut die some sort of bengkak sebab kenak sepak/terajang or whatsoever. anddd. kaki and belakang die berbirat sbb kene pukul pakai belt.

so why do i care? cos she's a good fren of mine. one person that i care a lot. i love her like my little sister. walaupon die adelah tua daripada saya tetapi die sangat kecik jadi saya rasa saya ini adalah kakak besar dan die adik kecik.

mcm ini lah saya dan die tapi die pendek sikit

this thing boleh dielakkan if u dump that guy betol tak? so if anyone yg terkene benda2 mcm ni pls think deeply. that guy is not the one for u. there is someone better. this thing happened to me. i was abused like hell but i took the right step which was to move on and now i am truly happy with someone better.

fight for your right and to guys out there if u care deeply for a lady u wont do such thing. say no to abuse everyone!

till then, see u again soon

dream dream dream.

2008-11-27T18:03:00.005+08:00

last nite i was ym-ing with farah.

tiba2 terkeluarla percakapan angan2 iaitu "kami mahu membuka sebuah restoran yg di sebelahnya ada butik utk plas saiz".haha.

for this time being it will be named J-FAG. raged kan nama itu. dan kami sudah ada customer sasaran tapi identitinya harusla dirahsiakan sbb nanti saya akan gelak (juan, later i'll tell u). orang itu akan promote kepada network nya yg sgt luas. dan tupppp bisnes kami pasti pemos.

kami juga sudah ada task utk masing2. business maju kene ade plan yg gempak mcm kami. sbb tu bisnes kami sudah pasti akan maju. saya percaya dan saya yakin.

saya akan jadi chef yg bertugas di area pembuatan dessert dan juga pastry.

saya di masa hadapan.kekeke.

farah plak will cook the main dish. diva tau perempuan ini. nk jugak jadi centre of attraction. tergugat mak yg hot ni

farah, stop romensing in the kitchen ok? yahhh suk kenak berik ompuan tok.

juan will be preparing the appetiser. opening act. nuff said.

sekda laki arab. laki italian ok sik? haha

dan kami akan menghire nor shuputs menjadi pekerja kami yg akan menghabiskan banyak masa kat butik kami.die kan suka sgt keje kat kedai2 baju ni. sesuey sangat dah tu.

gegerl nak jadi ape plak? dah habes dah position kat kedai. hmmm.

tukang sapu jer?

till then, see u again soon.

p.s. gegerl jgn marah tau. mak main2 jer. gegerl jadi shareholder je lah yer. rakan tidor kata farah.
p.s.s. i hope this comes true. esp the future me haha.

krazy thought for the day.

2008-11-27T17:28:00.004+08:00

i think i wanna be a vegetarian. haha.

just now me n chibi went makan at ixora. at first ingat nak makan bakso but then i want to eat sayur sayuran. bakso ade veges but ciput nyerrr. kedekut tau abg cina kedai indo rasa tu.

so i went to the vegetarian stall. i took so many types of sayur sayuran: four angle beans, encik labu, mushroom n egg tofu, tofu yg konon2 nya ayam tp tak rasa sgt pon mcm ayam and also tofu yg rasanya mcm ikan masak sweet sour.

i swear mmg sedap gilerrrrrr. and utk semua sekali sayur sayuran itu i was charged rm2.60! just imagine my pinggan is so very the penuh. i thought akan kene rm4 ke.

omg. sangat la interesting makan sayuran itu. tu yg tiba2 terasa nak jadi vegetarian. murah sedap mengenyangkan dan juga sangat menyihatkan utk org gemuk mcm i ni.

bolela jadi kurus mcm ini kan.haha.berangan lebey tau.

tp kan lepas tu i tak puas. i went back to the stall n amek OKRA (yerrr tekenang farah koh), ikan fake itu dan ade lagi egg tofu. hahahahahaha. lepas itu baru saya puas hati.

erk.terasa i tau.

so i think i wanna be vegetarian for certain days only lah cos i wont give up my fetish(mcm geli jer dgr) for chicken and ikan dan lembu dan kambing dan segala species binatang yg saya suka. tp fetish utk makan saja ler. saya tidak sayang binatang2 itu.

till then, see u again soon.

where art thou stamina?

2008-11-25T19:17:00.004+08:00

i dropped another 1 kg today. makes me weigh 92kg.

i just feel good today. yesterday sucks cos sayang went back. but today i'm feeling totally great. plus after the loss of 1kg although i ate mcm babi last 3 days.

i am proud of myself cos now i am able to run. the old me couldnt run and dont want to. but now i would say i have a new hobby which is to exercise.

but i still lack of stamina. i ran out of breath easily. plus im smoking. so now i would wait at least 2 hours after smoking, then only i exercise.

my goal after i have enough energy+stamina: to play serious tennis(running ok) haha.

today me n chibi accompanied amy to her netball training and all the girls forced me to join together. but how in the hell i wanna play? i dont even know how to play and now i am unofficially blind if i dont wear my specs. but i ran 2 rounds of the court though, just to satisfy their request haha.susah org glemer ni tau.

i am determined to exercise as much as i can cos i love it now.

till then, see u again soon

2008-11-25T12:20:00.003+08:00

i decided not to put my food and exercise journal in my blog anymore as i know people laugh at me.

till then, see u again soon.

20.11.2008 Day 4, Week 1 Healthy Living Program

2008-11-21T15:20:00.004+08:00

To farah: no worries. apology accepted. muahahahaha.

yesterday i weighed myself. it was a nightmare just to berdiri atas penimbang sakti itu. but turned out aku sangat la bahagia. i lost 2 kg after gaining 4 kg during holiday. i've only started for a few days. i am soooo excited. and sayang came last night around 3am. Gosh i'm still shocked.

the reason i decided to lose weight in the first place was because my weight reached 100kg. Then, after 2 months plus dieting and exercising, i was 91kg, just before going back to kch. then i gained back to 95kg after raya. and now i am 93kg.

Food
I cant remember the time i ate yesterday.
Morning - One egg omellette w/out any oil or salt. 3 tablespoon of oat and some milk.
Noon - Ikan keli, one egg, i dont know the name of the vege.
Evening - One skrem duak posen tp rega nya tiga posen. One piece of choc cookies(low cal one)
Night - One handful of honey star
4.00 am - I decided to treat myself so i ate Roti Sandwich and i curi a lil bit of sayang's maggi.

Exercise
30 minutes walking
25 minutes on a stepper

Till then, see u again soon.

19.11.08 Day 3, Week 1 Healthy Living Program

2008-11-19T22:42:00.005+08:00

i didnt go to class today.i woke up late again! we supposed to climb up bukit beruang again today but sadly it was raining heavily. so plan cancelled.

Food:
4.30pm one glass of fat free yogurt drink
5.30pm one piece of biscuit (i dont know the name)
7.30pm approx. one and a half palm size serving of beef, one begedil, one piece chicken liver, one cup of kangkong.
9.30pm a lil bit of mamee monster i took from chibi
12.45pm two tiny slices of beef cocktail + one handful honey stars

Exercise:
6.45pm 15 minutes walking
11.10pm 15 minutes walking+jogging

Till then, see u again soon

p.s. im thinking of blogging in BM.hmmm.still considering.

18.11.2008 Day 2 Week 1 Healthy Living Program

2008-11-18T20:46:00.004+08:00

dont read if u think it's boring and u think u wanna make fun of me. this is my food and exercise journal.

basically, this is the new program started yesterday. i promise to myself i will record everything i eat and every activities i do for everyday so that i can monitor my healthy living program.

food:
4.30 pm ( i woke up late today haha) - 150g low fat strawberry yogurt
8.30pm - one medium size fish, one cup of spinach, egg tofu, tempe+tofu.
12.00am - one glass of yogurt drink
1.50am - 3 jacobs hi fibre low salt with tuna and peanut butter+jelly
exercise:
15 minutes of walking
45 minutes of walking

till then, see u again soon

of ciggy and girls.

2008-11-18T18:29:00.003+08:00

smoking. suddently i remember my dad once said "smoking is mmu female students' identity is it?" i just laughed.

so, is it wrong for girls to smoke?

for me it's not a big problem since i smoke too. it doesnt mean that all those girls are sluts. it's just not a nice view to see. it's a very bad image to the girls (including me, i know).

but it's a big problem IF u smoke cos u try to be cool, want to be in the clique. and IF u try to show off that u're smoking. hello! it's not cool ok. u look bad. i hate it if girls smoke in front of the elders. i only smoke if there is no elders around or the elders i know that doesnt mind.

sadly, i admit that when i started smoking 7 years ago it was because i want to look cool but as i grow up i realize it's not for the show anymore. i am addicted.i feel quite regretful to start smoking in the first place.

how i wish i could stop but i guess i am not ready yet. it's my only way out of my misery. ceyh. but it has affected me now. i ran out of breath easily, i always have sore throat and etc.

so girls or even guys, please dont ever try to smoke. it's not good for ur health and ur image too. it's totally not cool ok.trust me.

till then, see u again soon.

Youthsays?

2008-11-18T18:03:00.003+08:00

yesterday farah told me about youthsays. i was like what? ok. so today i google youthsays and what i found is very interesting. you get paid for taking surveys, etc.!

if u haven't joint, u better do so. earn some money while blogging. after all u have nothing to lose. click here to join. enjoy earning some money and voice out ur opinion!

another one

2008-11-17T21:51:00.002+08:00

lupak. just now while i was walking, some kids perli me cos i exercise. i gave them middlefinger.

wtf. at least i exercise. i have some efforts to lose weight. salah ke if orang gemuk exercise? dah aku gemuk ko jugak kutuk kan. i hate those stupid people. fuck you and go to hell. harap2 ko dapat bini gemuk. i hate u.

till then, fuck u motherfuckers.

sense of accomplishment.

2008-11-17T20:53:00.006+08:00

today i had my 1st presentation for this trimester. it was about my hometown. it was ok i think but i was rambling until this came out: we don't live on trees, we do wear clothes and we dont walk on bare foot. all my classmates including the lecturer laugh like mad. haha.

and guess what. the lecturer asked me why didnt i mention about the spring cos it has one attraction which is : TA KIONG. i was like, huh? ok.

the best thing happened today. for the first time in i cant remember how many years i walked for almost 3 miles.

and even better i officially step my feet on the bear hill for the 1st time ever (yer. sak nama nya bukit beruang). i managed to climb halfway and i am proud of it cos i climbed after i walked from taman dahlia to bunga raya. the bukit is very steep and me being scared of height i felt like falling down. it is fcking scary.

since this blog is actually some kind of my journal throughout my weight loss process, i wanna list down what i ate today.

breakfast: 3 tablespoon of instant oat with a lil bit of milk - around 9 am.
lunch: one ikan kembong with approx. one cup of spinach - 12pm
snack: one handful honey stars - 4.30pm
dinner: one glass of mango juice with 4 pieces of the tiny milo bars - 7.30pm
supper: 3 jacob hi fibre low salt with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter+jelly

btw, i still dont have the guts to weigh myself after the holiday. i am just too scared.

till then, see u again soon.

rintihan anak tiri.

2008-11-16T04:57:00.003+08:00

sayang, u adelah sgt kejam.
oklah u tak kejam.
orang HR kat office u tu kejam.
die jeles la tu kan sayang.
kalo u tak dtg sape nk dodo kan i.
tamo la tunggu lama2.
i dah rindu la.
sayang cepat2 datang tau sayang.
i tunggu.

randomness.

2008-11-15T23:28:00.007+08:00

last nite amy mentioned: "surprisingly i am still in love with kurt the way i did 2 yrs ago".

yes. that's how i feel towards sayang. it's still clear in my mind how we ended up being together. we just hang out and kept on talking talking and talking. we watched movies together on his pc. it's amazing, you know, reminiscing to good old memories. makes me miss him more.sigh.

if u guys ask me do i miss my high school years. i would say no. to me that was the downturn of my life.too many things happened.too many people were hurt by me.i guess i was the stupidest person ever existed.luckily those days are gone.meet the new me.

i can be very nice but i can be very mean. u choose what u want to get from me. tips: find the right time to talk to me. if i just woke up after long hours of sleeps, that is the worst time to talk to me. sometimes i would ignore u.

that reminds me of an iban girl whom i met few days ago. at first i was very excited meeting her. sama kampong tek nak. it was until she mentioned this: kamek dah tak berapa pandai cakap bahasa sarawak koh. WTF? hello. i hate u. totally. after that i just ignored her.haha.

till then, see u again soon

p.s. i gained back some of the weight i lost before. i hate going back to kuching (well a metaphore only k)

deep within.

2008-11-14T23:35:00.004+08:00

blue.
not socializing enough.
dont want to.
missing ur presence.
tired.
sick of gossips, not gossip girl.
denise austin, i need u.
seduction, shooh.
feeling blaire.
tuesday and thursday, must.
nate in michael way.
junior i adore, blew my sadness.
less of m i need most.
clc here i come. i promise.

till then, see u again soon.

a sinner, yes i am.

2008-11-14T22:46:00.003+08:00

i have a confession. i have done a very huge mistake. i admitted to doing it and im guilty as charged.

i never intended to start the whole things but i cant resist the seduction. i thought i have enough strength to defeat the goddamn demon but turned out that i am not. oh lord. what have i done? i am full of regrets wishing that things are gonna be the way they were.

this time around i promise to myself i wont do such things ever again. i must be stronger!

till then, see u again soon.

p.s. 18 more subjects and i will complete my degree.cant wait.

to go or not to go?

2008-11-13T00:35:00.004+08:00

i'm moving to cyberjaya this coming june. it's frantically sad for me to leave the old malacca. seriously. i dont know why but i kinda feel it already. to leave this house that i called home these few years. oh god. it makes me wanna cry just to think about moving.

i have few doubts that make me go back to thinking, should i go or should i not? let's say if i go. i dont have anyone that i know in class. i have to make new friends. next is i have to stay in the hostel! i have one more to year to go once i move, so it's not really a good idea to find a new house to rent. in hostel i cant smoke! some ppl might say thats good but currently it's not for me. it's the only thing left for me to entertain my emotional wrecks.sigh.

then, i have to sell off all my furnitures here in malacca. it's hard to get rid of everything. it's not everyday ppl want to buy furnitures. 2nd hand furthermore. finding a new person to rent my room is another story. it's all very tiring. in cyberjaya sayang cant lepak in my room, so no more cuddle up in the room. haha. but seriously we're not comfortable of PDA especially for him la kan. tetttt.

but there are some good points if i go. my parents and my nenek think it's good thing. they insist me to go. it will be easier for me to gerak from klia. instead of riding the stop-at-every-destination bus to seremban, then a different bus to malacca, i will only have to spend RM6.20 on transportation. (tol ka juan?). i will be nearer to sayang. so he doesnt have to drive all the way to malacca to see me anymore. so can dating everytime he cuti la kan. haha. next is i have juan to be with me in cyber. and amy too. hmmm.

right now im only 60% sure of moving. i just feel very comfortable of living in malacca. when i move, it will take time for me to adapt to the whole new environment. will it be this comfortable? i just have no idea.

till then, see u again soon.

back on track

2008-11-08T02:58:00.003+08:00

so now i'm back in malacca.arghh.all i can think of now are exams, assignments, books, attendance and bla bla bla. it's very stressful to study! dgr malacca jer i feel like i wanna pengsan.

so much things happen during my holidays. sorry no pictures cos i lost my charger cum usb cable. u guys have any idea whether or not they sell cam charger? i desperately need one. one thing i remember the most is seeing an omputeh's dick! my god. luckily he's gorgeous cos if not i'll be dead by now.

few days back i got to know one young man from wales. his name is Oshian Conn. and her mother's name is COMEL. hahahahaha. that's how he spelled his mother's name. my goodness i tell u he's adorable, bubbly, funny and very lovable. and he's 8 by the way.so i asked him whether he got any older cousins(since he told me he's the only child), and he said: yes but they're going to NZ for a holiday. not for few days but 2 yrs. haha. my heart was jumping like hell cos i was very excited. and then he said : they're 10 and 11.OMFG. I felt like i wanna drown myself in the pool!

but nothing can beats the time i spent with my family and friends. it's precious and priceless. they make me smile with true happiness. now i'm here i feel teribly lonely. i miss all the laughs, the stupid jokes, everything. haihhh. next holiday please?

to sayang: thanks for sending me off to malacca. i appreciate it. u're the best.

till then, see u again soon.

She made me smile.

2008-10-13T19:27:00.004+08:00

The latest addition to the family. Welcome baby Arina Zahra bt Azdhar Zulkarnain! You just made me smile cos ure too adorable.

Late Raya Post

2008-10-13T12:48:00.009+08:00

Right now i just want to turn back the time and make it raya time again. huhu. It's a late raya post cos ive been very very extremely busy these few weeks. currently im in the middle of my final exams. im taking 4 papers and have done with 1 paper. the other two i took mcs. the reason?i enjoyed my raya too much that i didnt study at all (a bit oni la). haha.im the type of person who wont go to exams if im not fully prepared.im scared of getting bad grades.

Oh yea. I have a news. But it's just a maybe lah. Not confirmed yet. Still waiting for the other side to give their permission. Probably we're getting engaged by this year. Not in a big ceremony la and minus all the hantaran. Bertekol kata org sarawak koh. I refused to do it in a ceremony cos im still too fat to take all the good pics. Kekeke. After all it's a waste of money. But dont be too excited (ceyh sapa ka yang excited) cos its still pending.

My raya was ok but not that good cos number one: less angpao, secondly: i needed to go back to malacca on the 4th day of raya. I visited less houses this year. A few friends' and close relatives' only. My open house was on the 3rd day of raya. It sucks to celebrate raya in such a rush! Here are my raya pics. Didnt take much photos .

Me Eman and juan - celebrating juan's bday, few days before raya

Pose ala2 antm cycle 11. Fierce eyes kata dirikku haha!

Hamper from eman haha

My famous choc cheese cake LOL

Some of the cakes i baked

1st Day of Raya:

Sisters!

Me, Great-grandma and cousin Liz

Me, Kak Anny and Liz

Camwhoring di pagi raya?

Bersalam-salaman, bermaaf-maafan. My dad in the orangey yellow baju melayu.

Sabri giving out angpaos

Aunty Dollie, Me, Grandma and Great-grandma

Abang's House. Abis pak udin diloyar ku koh.

2nd Day of Raya:

Me and nenek who used to be my babysitter

Us at Farah's house

Dilla's House

3rd Day of Raya- Open House:

With my parents, siblings, and some of uncles, aunts, and cousins from my dad's side

with azid's frens. aku tauk ko jeles nak nak? taun depan balit ler

eman, juan, amal, nawi, shade, me, lynn, bob, noor

Juan, me and bob - bob's house, 7th Day of Raya

My Sweethearts:

My nephew, azam si anak tambi haha

Azam again!

Arman was infected with HFMD. Poor little boy.

Till then, see u again soon.

Busy bee.

2008-09-25T23:02:00.003+08:00

Aku mok klaka swak jak lah ehh. Kedong ku d kuching tok koh.

Yobihhh busyyy ku ehhh. Bok jak abis molah cookies. Dah 3 igek cookies dipolah ku. Kepak nyawa ku tok koh. Blom gk cake. Gila rasa nyawa ku tok.

Mak aku tok la over. Demand sungguh. Ada 9 igek cake tgh waiting list ok. Ilek2 jak nya menerima order dari orang. Sik nya tauk tukang polah tok mcm nak pengsan jer. Tpaksa ku bertungkus lumus 3 4 ari tok.

Dah la exam 6 aribulan. Aduh ehhh. Lom abis gk ku blaja. 2 ari jak ku ke pustaka ari ya. Sik juak abis2 blaja ku. Ya juak gago berpolah kueh. Paraiii aku mak. Tok salah satu cookies dipolah ku taun tok. Duak igek gik ya malas ku ngambar.

butter cookies jak sebenarnya. suka ku mok engkah royal icing atas nya.

Anyway, since dah dekat mok raya tok, aku mok mintak mahap ngan suma orang. HARAF MAAP yer kawan2. Haha. Sempat juak aku tek. Maka tgh mintak maap.

Kepada adikku di melbourne nun, aku tauk ko maca blog aku juak nak nak? Aku mintak maap ngan kawu sempena raya tok. Rindu ku ngan kawu koh. Ko tauk gamba raya kita taun ya kat tempat apek ya diengkah nya lam iklan lam borneo post. Khelas tau apek tu. Harus ku mintak royalty ngan nya. Haha. Eh lom abis ku becerita. Mula2 mak jak yang nangga benda ya. Ko tauk apa padah Baby? "Mak, pahal gamba kita ya mak. K berik ngan abang kat melbourne ka?" Kenak ko sik rasa mcm mok nukuk palak nya. Khelas borneo post sampei ke melbourne.

To farah: Aku ada juak kawan nama DAN. Nama penoh nya HAMDAN. Amek kau.

Till then, see u again soon.

At last!

2008-09-19T13:41:00.002+08:00

Finally i can go back for raya! this is the moment ive anticipated since the start of ramadhan. Im off to kl in 2 hours time and will be back to kch on sunday. Anyway Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Batin to everyone.

Till then, see u again soon

Eish eish eish cobaan..

2008-09-18T03:47:00.004+08:00

Today so much dugaan happened to me. After chibi woke me up, i felt so determined to do my assignment. I went straight to the laptop and start reading the rest of the assignment as i am suppose to conclude it. It took me nearly 2 hours to figure out that actually some of the work done by others are totally wrong so i cant conclude the assignment! I shouldve check the thing yesterday but i waited and this is what i get!

The thing is they blindly followed the instruction given without noticing that there are several errors in it. If u have read and understand what is required, you should know how to do it correctly and just use the instruction as a guideline only, not follow it blindly get it? Yet u said u want a perfect job. Wtf? Is that what u call perfect? U need to think out of the box!

After getting stuck in doing the assignment, i decided to check the mmls and see which chapters are coming out for the quiz tomorrow (the main reason i stayed for another one week). The thing is only then i realized that this is not week 12. It is week 13. Meaning that the quiz was held last week! I got zero after wasting my time waiting for the quiz. Another wtf! I am so fucking mad at myself. Luckily the lecturer is willing to let me do the quiz tomorrow but i am still mad cos i am suppose to be back in kch last week. Fuck fuck fuck.

Then i decided to go out for berbuka. Guess what? I left my key inside my room. I couldnt find the spare key and no one was at home. I was stuck inside the house as all the grill are locked. Nice one. What i did was kick the room door open causing it to be broken near the knob. I still cant believe that i managed to open the door after only a few kicks. Amazing! Another wtf moment for me today is when chibi called saying that she has the spare key for my room that i gave her but i forgot about it! WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!!!!!!!!!

Today teaches some lessons for me. Dont be such a stupid bitch. Lain kali coba ingat betol2 mena sik? Tok tek sikkkk. Leka gago kedirik ajak. Bongok eh.

Till then, see u again soon.

She's leaving on a jetplane

2008-09-18T03:47:00.003+08:00

She just left. Few hours ago. Hopefully everything will be alright for her. She can now learn to be independent! hahahaha. ayat sapa ka itu? cuba teka.

Today for berbuka we ate at mcd. Me, chibi and amy and the rest of the guys except for faiz and otak2. Everything was on chibi. Thanks babe. Murah rejeki aku bulan puasa ni tau. Banyak jer org belanja. Alhamdulillah.

I dont have any plan to send her off at the airport. Everything was planned at the very last minute. Luckily otak2's car was available. At first i asked vic to accompany me but since his friend is coming over here and since dol said that it's ok for him to accompany me, i went to the airport with him and chibi (he drove of course). We left at 8.15pm right after berbuka. Thanks guys for accompanying me.

I thought it was gonna be hard for me to say goodbye to her but miraculously i didnt even cry. Maybe it was because of bank rakyat bak kata juan. I kept on thinking of what she told me. I dont know why that "statistic" person keep on telling lies to everyone. Hey Mrs Statistic dont u know that people will eventually know u are making up stories ok! Kelak bok ko tauk malu sik tauk cney mok napok muka nak nak? Kali nang suka publisiti murahan kali nak. Sampei bapak ku pun diajak begosip hal mrs statistic. Lawak eh kamek. Apa jak tek kah. Tebik posa ku mun dah time posa. nasib gk time sahor bah.

Sigek gik kali aku layap nangga muka bank rakyat kali juan oooo. Hahahaha. After saying goodbyes we left and sent juan to cyber. I insisted that he followed me back to malacca but he said no. Eh kenja kawu ya.

One more thing that makes me wonder. Why on earth the are people who keep on acting that they're so good that the rest of people in this world are useless. Keep on talking this and that yet never realize that they are actually making fun of themselves. Ridiculous. Im not saying that im that good but please lah. Wake up! Do as what u said.

Eh sigek gik. Best juak klaka bahasa tanah kelahiran ku yer. Puas ku meluahkan perasaan walaupun ada org ya netak aku klaka bahasa aku pun nak. Kali ko jeles nak sekda bahasa lain k klaka bah. Iboh loba gilak eh. Sik mak ku muji kawu gia koh.

Till then, see u again soon.

Im cluesless of how i feel

2008-09-15T02:01:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday i went to kl. The main point : to see farah before she leaves for London. I actuually planned for a daytrip but sayang insisted that i sleep over at his house. So i did.

On Saturday i bought a 9.45am ticket but managed to use the 8.45 bus instead. Sayang fetched me at Pudu (god i hate this place so much). Later, accompanied him shopping for his baju kerja. We went to Sungei Wang. He bought 2 shirts and a pants. I sempat bought a grey long sleeved baju and a pair of flip flop. Later i bought some stuff for baking raya cookies (semangat tau!).

We reached his house around 5pm. Then i tidur till 6.30 pm. Mesti mak mentua aku menyirap jer. His mom cooked one of my favourite dish, Laksa Penang. Fuhhh. Layan sialll. The best Laksa ever. haha. suka la mak mentua aku kalo dgr. I adore her cos she cook everything on her own. Even kueh (bukan kueh raya nong). The laksa mee pon she made it herself. I ate the laksa for bbuka and sahur too. Penat je die masak nasik and lauk.

On sunday i woke up at 11am. Memang menyumpah org tua tu. haha. Watched tv and later went out to KLCC. Sayang bought another pants. Then buka puasa with hana, farah and juan at chili's. Fuhh memang kenyang stock tak leh bernafas. The meal was on farah. Thanx darling. Klak ku chia kawu topspot gik. Tunggu kawu balit la so that means next year. Haha.

Then we went to nose. I fell in love with this one shoes. Nang ku paksa ku gerek ku meli. But he said no unless i buy other shoes cos he said the shoes is ugly. I cant make up my mind and we went to Vincci hoping to find some other nice shoes. But the shoes were all crap. So melepas laa cos it was almost 9 and we needed to rush to Pudu. Then said goodbye to farah. My goodness. It was so fcking sad. i cried.

At Pudu i loan some money from sayang cos i used my money to top up my fon. I havent withdraw my money so pinjam from him. Later he called and told me i dont have to pay back and use the money to buy shoes instead. Thanx sayang. You're the best.

To Farah : Goodbye to you. I wish u the very best of luck. I will miss u so fcking much. Waaaa. Tinggal la aku juan n gegerl. Bait2 ko d sinun eh. Iboh lupak carik laki ala2 aucher k aku haha. Hope to see u again soon. Sorry sekpat anta kawu ke apot. mun ada keta mok ku pegi tp apakan daya aku ini pejalan kaki plg berjaya. Mun ku ke apot jalan kaki cepat gilak ku kurus klak. Haha. Anyway, have a safe journey. I will always pray for u.

That's why im clueless of how i feel about last weekend. Happiness? Sadness? urghh entahla. The mix of both kali tp ney satu lebeh banyak? yahhh. sekpat ku jawab.

some pics i managed to snap:

Till then, see u again soon especially to farah amami marzuki yg ku sayang gila babi.

God please fast forward the time!

2008-09-11T06:36:00.003+08:00

Currently im listening to raya songs. omg. i miss kuching so much. raya la cepat. pleaseeee..ive started packing a bit cos im really in the mood for raya.

I wanna go back so bad. im tired of bebuka alone almost everyday. i wanna be with my fam. how i wish i can go back now but the stupid quiz is next week, on friday! arghhhh.. i didnt get barred anyway. alhamdulillah.

Dear God, can u make time go faster, please?

Another reason

2008-09-10T13:19:00.001+08:00

I just found another reason to lose weight. i want to be able to sit on mmu's old table-chair and at the same time using the table.

Exhaustion exhaustion exhaustion!

2008-09-10T11:31:00.003+08:00

Right now i'm blogging from the lab, waiting for my next class to start. I'm totally exhausted. I have tonnes of things waiting to be done. I'm sure my panda eyes are getting worse. Last nite i was doing my assignment till 2.30 am and didnt sleep until after performing subuh prayer. I slept around 7am. Woke up at 9.30 am just now cos i cant miss my Corporate Accounting class anymore. These are my to do lists:

Taxation 2 assignment- need to be completed before friday. currently half are done.
Corporate Accounting assignment - before friday as well. still waiting for the others to send their part so that we can do the conclusion.
Accounting Information system assignment - the group leader wants the assignment to be completed by this week. also still waiting for the others to submit their part.
Study for Corporate Finance quiz - should be done by this weekend (but im going to kl. how aa?)
Start doing revision for final - especially for tax and CA
Packing for holiday - this is the best part. i just cant wait. 2 more weeks to go. please make times go faster please please please.

Aite need to go now. Class in 3 minutes time. Till then, see u again soon.

10 reasons i wanna lose weight

2008-09-09T18:08:00.004+08:00

People call me names. Gemuk, hyppo, gajah and so on. I wanna prove to them that i can lose those extra weights and they can stop calling me those names ok. I dont mind really but as it keeps on recurring it does hurt me deep down. I have feelings in case u guys wanna know.
Most probably i will get married in 3-4 yrs time. I just dont want my wedding pics look hideous. So better start now hehe.
I dont want to end up with tonnes of disease due to my weight. I wanna be healthy.
Of course i wanna wear pretty clothes and look nice at the same time. I look yuck wearing any clothes now.
I wanna sit comfortably in the plane. No need for stewardess to langgar my hand if i sit at the aisle seat. Lol.
I feel exhausted and sick of being fat. It's tiring to move around. It makes me lazy.
I wanna look normal and not like monsters that scare shits outta ppl.
When performing solat jemaah, i have enuf space for tahiyat aher. No need for me to hempap person next to me or there is no such thing as cramped leg.
So that i dont look like a 0 standing next to a 1. if tak paham g mampos haha.
SO THAT I CAN WEAR A BIKINI. hahahahaha. jk! I cant think of any reason anymore but all i know is that i wanna be thin so bad!.

Choc and Peanut Butter Cake

2008-09-08T01:42:00.002+08:00

Like i said this is a non bake cake. It is very easy to prepare. I came across with this recipe while i was surfing for frosting recipe. I tried this cos basically i have all the ingredients at home and was bored haha. This is the original recipe :

Ingredients:

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup margarine
1/4 cup evaporated milk plus 1/4 cup water
1/2 cup instant or quick cooking oats
1/2 cocoa powder (sifted)
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla

Procedure:

Mix all ingredients in a medium saucepan.
Boil for one minute over 350 degrees F.
Drop spoon fulls of mixture on lined cookie sheets.
Refrigerate for about 2 hours.
Serve with milk.

For me, i changed a bit of the ingredients. i used only one and a quarter cups of sugar but it is still sweet for my liking. i used 1/4 cup of evaporated milk as well instead of water. i used 1 cup of cocoa powder instead of half. 3/4 cups of oats just to make it harder a bit. If u dont like peanut butter u can reduce the amount or changed it to choc spread instead.

Till then, enjoy ur cake!

Happiness =)

2008-09-08T00:31:00.003+08:00

This weekend i spent time with sayang. He surprised me again! He drove all the way to malacca and he's having a fever. i am totally touched. He reached malacca around 10 pm on friday and tapao me some of his mom's homemade kueh. Ahhhh greatness.

So we did some shopping and bought a brand new wallet, a dress for my sis, a new eyeliner and some groceries. Last week i bought a new cardigan, a small so-called yellow carpet and a towel. hehe. For both days we broke fast at aladdin and sahur at tomyam.

He came with a good news. He finally got a job at celcom and will be starting on the 15th. Alhamdulillah. I am relieved. I am very happy for him and for myself as well. I got a new source of income hahahaha. Kejam tau mak ni. He promised me an ang pao for this coming raya. Jangan kasi 5 rgt jer plak sudey.

He left at 9pm today after bebuka and after some groceries shopping again. Lalalala. I wish we couldve spent more times haihhh.

Another good news for me. Brand new season of gossip girl and antm have started. Yeay! Ive been waiting for so long. Now i have something to look forward to. Aww i'm in heaven is it?

The first episode of gossip girl really makes me wanna orgasm cos serena and dan are back together muahahaha. Yeah baby that's what i wanna see. Thank goodness. Some spoiler for second episode haha:

Blair (Leighton Meester) is over the moon that she is dating royalty and has every intention of becoming a royal herself, but a scheming Chuck (Ed Westwick) has other plans for Blair and hew new love, Marcus (guest star Patrick Heusinger). Serena (Blake Lively) and Dan (Penn Badgley) agree to keep their recent hook-ups a secret from their friends and family until they figure out what all this means for their relationship. Meanwhile, Nate (Chace Crawford) learns the downside to having an affair with a hot older woman, Catherine (guest star Madchen Amick), who also happens to be married.

As for antm, this cycle really made a headline. There's a transsexual competing in this cycle. Her name is Isis. I pity her so much cos almost every girls bitches about him. Kurang ajar k. I would say so far my fav are marjorie (her style resembles agyness), sheena (she looks like kimora and her body is smoking hot!), and ellina (her eyes are stunning in the pics but she's a lesbo lol). Here's the vid :

Just now i tried a new recipe which is a non bake cake. It is basically a choc and peanut butter cake. I'm still waiting for it to set in the fridge but mcm menjadi jer hehehehe. I will post the recipe after this. I also cooked some bubur jagong with macaroni, sagu and cendol. Yea baby, yummy yum yum.

Here some pics of me for this week. Im vain i know hahaha.

Me without the makeup

Me trying on my new eyeshadow and eyeliner

In conjunction with antm cycle 11 hahaha

Till then, see u again soon.

Ramadhan

2008-09-03T05:50:00.000+08:00

Another ramadhan.. I just cant believe how fast time flies. But this is the time ive been waiting for. I just love the feeling of ramadhan. It's very peaceful. It makes me look back to myself and makes me see what wrongs ive done. It is a holy month which makes u just wanna clean urself and repent for what u've done. The next best thing is that it is an indicator of raya is coming! haha.

This ramadhan i aim to fast for the whole month (period is an exception la kan). ive started to solat cos its been almost a yr since the last time i pray. Yea it's true i'm not a very good muslim but i'm trying to change. I wanna change my lifestyle. I want to live a more organized life. It's depressing to live like how i live currently. I can only sleep at 6am and then woke up in the evening. I feel like my life is a mess. I didnt attend most of my classes. I am totally lost.

I know i will get barred by the lecturer. Usually i will give a completely ridiculous excuse but this time i feel that ive lost my drama queen talent. haha. but seriously i cant think of any excuses. I guess i'm tired of lying. I dont have the courage to face the lecturer. Not even to send an email. urghhh. it's a total mess u see. this is what u get for not organising ur life well.

The 1st day i broke fast with sayang's family. it is sad for not having to break fast with ur own family. i in fact cried on the night before puasa. it's true that my mum insisted that i go back to kuching but it's tiring for me to travel far. plus it's puasa. so i decided not to go back. my mum called hundred thousand times (exaggerate la pulak kan.haha) to coax me to go back to kch. haha. ok it's evil i know. haha.

Talking about how fast time flies, in roughly 1 week time, farah will be flying to london for her degree. Honestly, it is heartbreaking for me. I cant call her anytime anymore. The only medium for communicating is messenger. wtf? haha. eh tak baik mencarut2 bulan baik ni tau.

Yesterday i weighed myself again. I've lost another 2 kg since the last time i weighed myself, meaning i've lost 9 kg in total. one more kg to my 1st goal. alhamdulillah.

Till then, see u again soon.

Day 2, week 7

2008-08-26T14:52:00.000+08:00

26th August 2008

Nothing much happened today. I woke up at 11.00 am and went to campus to withdraw rental money. Waited for Tan to come and in the end he came at 2.15pm.

I asked affa to pay the water bills which has increased fuckingly to RM40. WTF wei! Matila mcm ni. There are only 4 of us left in the house. Lama2 my parents pun botak. Luckily we terminated the astro. We now have to spend roughly RM70 for utilities only. Haihhh. The stupid YTM money is not coming out yet. I am so damn broke. Dahla i lost house's money RM200. Mana nak korek ni??. Jual bontot boley tak? haha.

But the good news for today, i'm nearer to my goal of losing 10kg before raya. 3 more kgs to go. The funny thing is my initial goal was to lose 20 kg before raya. ade hati plak kan. mcm senang jer bunyi nyer nk lost 20 kg. Bluwekkk. Some pics to share:

This is what i ate today:

Breakfast-11.30am
One table spoon of oat + 1 table spoon of condensed milk.

Lunch - 1.00 pm
Half can of tuna in water stir fried with onion with 1 tea spoon of cooking oil and 2 hard boiled egg + soy sauce

Snack 1 - 5.30 pm
2 tablespoon of steamed sweet corn

Dinner - 7.30 pm
Sweet Sour Fish

Snack 2 - 9.00 pm
One slice of kek batik

Supper - 11.30 pm
One piece of beef burger without any buns, with chili sauce and mayo.

My Workouts:

Walking back from campus - 10 minutes
Walking to gym - 12 minutes
Step walker - 15 minutes (approximately 150 calories burned)
Cycling on stationary bike - 30 minutes (approximately 260 calories burned)
Weight training for arms - 10 minutes
Weight training for thighs+tummy - 10 minutes
Walking back from gym - 12 minutes

Total kg lost : 7 kg (still a long way to go to the total goal haha)

Sunshines on a cloudy day.

2008-08-25T20:31:00.000+08:00

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend. ~Henry David Thoreau

To be honest,deep in my heart I kinda dislike to make new friends, nooo not in a way that i am bitchy or whatnot (ok a lil bit bitchy lah), but it's just that i treasure my existing friends so much. ahakss. New friends mean my friends need to share the loves with the new ones. So unfair to them cos everyone wants to be my friend you know. muahahahahaha. eii perasan lebey tau i ni.

Takde la just kidding. Just that new friends mean u need to start all over again. U never know what are their true colors. What if they are going to be another bitch that's gonna ruin ur life? Then how? Cos i've experienced this. It's very traumatic. But undeniably u have to make new friends. It's very helpful to be friendly.

Friends do make ur bland life colorful. They add flavors to ur tasteless life. But as u know, too much "MSG" is bad for u. Same goes to friends. Too much drama are bad. Totally bad. U need to accept the friends they way they are. It's hard though. So, my advice: bitch about them in ur blog hahahahaha. Bodo la aku ni. Berdosa tau buat mcm tuh. Tp mulut aku ni mmg jahat, what to do? hahaha.

But i think the best thing to do is to avoid being too clingy with the friends (unless u very are sure that they can stand u). U may think that they dont mind but u shud remember that not everyone can stand ur behaviour.

For this post i'm gonna introduce a few of my closest friends.

Farah. She never fails to lend me a helping hand whenever i need one. She is the greatest friend i can ever ask for. I may say that she knows me the best, in and out. We share a lot in common (especially in terms of size haha). Bak kata org tua, pandei kawu carik kawan sama gemok. lol. I would never trade her for anyone else. She's truly an angel, who can laugh and cry with me (sak jak lebeh ke tetak).

Juan. He's totally the man. He can crack jokes anytime anywhere. Being with him, u can almost forget all the problems u have. It's very hard to see him being down. He is always full of smiles and laughters. Oh yeah, he got passion for shoes. what kind of shoes? u figure it out urself. haha.

Eman. Erk. Perlukah? Sekda bah eman. Alu kecik ati. The best thing about him: everything is on him. hahaha. but it's not the main reason he is a good friend (yerdeh k ngambik ati jak tek duhal haha). He's a good listener. U can tell him everything. He's always there for u. Just a word for u eman: money is not everything.it cant buy u friends.

Amy. She is the closest friend i have in malacca. She is the sweetest, with her motherly character. She sees only the best in u, far beyond all the flaws u have. She is willing to go through thick and thin with u. She cares about people around her. A very pretty girl with a soft heart. I reckon that she's gonna be a good mother.

Chibi. A little sister to us at home. Very good with her money (sapa accountant ni sebenarnya?). My loan institute haha. Someone i can talk to for hours lol. My gym partner.

Deera. A very soft spoken girl. The yoga instructor. You can get good tips on exercise from her. Always smiling. Org yg aku salu curi maggi haha. She loves to clean the house. Without her i dont know what our house will look like.lol.

The guys from no 8 taman dahlia. All of them are just like brothers to me. Very protective. Someone u can turn to. Great friends.

Budak2 cina. haha. people i can hang out with and just laugh together.

Vic, Tengku Bob, Ee Swak, Sara. Another great friends of mine. My darlings, who cheer my days just being with them.

To all of my friends, u guys have added bright colors to my life. I will always cherish all the memories. If i ever talk bad about u guys, that shows i do care about u. I just want u guys to be the best. You give me strength to face this cruel and unfair world. You guys are truly sunshines on my cloudy days.

Till then, see u again soon.

Destiny, it is.

2008-08-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

He. He is the very last person i ever thought will touch and capture my heart. Yet, he did. Indeed, i am very much in love with this guy.

He is the exact opposite of what i am looking for in a guy. With this geeky look, annoying, harsh, insensitive, why on earth am i in love with him? He is not the person whom i can talk to. Very contrary to the fact that i am a talking machine who can talk for hours. He is a man with little words. Still, i am in love with him.

Honestly,i do wish that he could change. Yea, i know it sounds selfish but i want someone who treats me like a princess, can talk to me for hours (just like what aucher did! lol!), who is sweet. But i know i wont get that from him and you know what, i dont regret it. As long as i still can have him, it's enough for me (but please try to be a good listener will u? haha). Kater tempat meluahkan perasaan kan? kan?

Enough about what i want. Everything is beyond the look or whatsoever. It's what he can give me that matters. He loves me the way i am, he gives me the warmth, the sense of security, and i think he is the only person (well, of course apart from my parents and grandparents) who can handle a complicated, emotional, bitchy, very demanding talking machine like me, which i am very thankful of. (I still feel very guilty of the way i treated him all this while though..haihh)

Just wanna share some pics of us:

our first few days together - May 2006

2006

2007

2006 - few months after moving to taman dahlia

2006

Fit's farewell bbq - 2007

2007

Genting trip with my fam - 2007

just another nite out - purebar

his 24th bday, 29.10.07 in kuching

damai beach - oct 2007

his graduation day - 11.08.08
(look how gemuk he is now!)

Anyway, sayang if ure reading this, you've touched my heart and i just wanna tell u for the millionth time that i do love u for whoever u are. To me, you are the the most charming guy in the world and in my eyes u are near to perfect. I just cant wait for the day you are officially the one i spend my whole life with.

This is destiny - when you fall for the least expected one and next thing you know, he is the one.

"Mengeratkan silaturrahim" game party haha

2008-08-24T17:58:00.000+08:00

Last nite we're having some sort of all-about-game party at pantai puteri. The main point is : mengeratkan silaturrahim (amy's quote since the 1st time she mentioned about this party). It was planned at the very last minute but we managed to pull it out together quite perfectly.

Usually the get-together we used to organize are always involving bbq but since this week was kinda hectic, we decided to just order some food and play some games. Among the games were pictionary, passing parcel (lol) and murderer. The Pictionary went on till so many rounds cos everyone get so addicted to it.

Here are some pictures of last nite:

while waiting for the others at 1st meeting point
affa, deera, me n amy

me, elle, rizal n amy

taken by shane, just before games

kamal, d-lip, kani, ashvin and kurt

dol n me

rizal, me, otak2 dol, zax, faiz

ice breaking session

faiz doing his punishment : saying i love u to kurt

kurt seducing ashvin

mus after eating a cili padi

elle, shane, kani, dol n begedil acting like a boyband

me putting colgate on kani's head and face

amy putting bra onto darshini's head

shane with red lipstick all over his face

me and amy while playing pictionary

group pic with some has already left and some went to toilet

kani being molested by sharel

affa, deera, laiqam, darshini, elle, bra-headed kani, amy n me

zombie kg pisang. begedil and deera

Basically, last nite was very fun with so much laughter and we did indeed "mengeratkan silaturrahim" ,with some new friendships are developed.

Till then, see u again soon.

When loneliness strikes

2008-08-24T17:42:00.001+08:00

i just miss u so fucking much. it does hurt me a lot, in case u dont know that. luckily ur baju is here so that i can sleep with the smell of ur scents and it makes me feel comfortable, as if u are here with me. well i try so much to deny this feeling of missing u but fuck, i just cant. this is the problem of getting used to always having u around. haihhhh. just get ur ass over here will u?

The Appetiser

2008-08-24T06:28:00.000+08:00

I seriously have no idea on where to start. This is my first time blogging (well, except for the stupid friendster blog). Please dont expect anything exciting cos it's just all about my life.

Currently, i'm on a long term goal of losing weight and i just want to live healthily. Hopefully this blog can help me to stay on track. So far it's been roughly 1 month and a half since i started this plan and successfully lost 6.5 kg. For those who think this is some kind of a joke, believe me this time around i'm totally determined to do this. There will be no turning back. I'll show u guys that i can do this. Just dont be jealous if someday i look like jessica biel haha (ya right!). For those who give me so much supports, thank you so much guys.

Till then, see u again soon.