randomness.

last nite amy mentioned: "surprisingly i am still in love with kurt the way i did 2 yrs ago".

yes. that's how i feel towards sayang. it's still clear in my mind how we ended up being together. we just hang out and kept on talking talking and talking. we watched movies together on his pc. it's amazing, you know, reminiscing to good old memories. makes me miss him more.sigh.

if u guys ask me do i miss my high school years. i would say no. to me that was the downturn of my life.too many things happened.too many people were hurt by me.i guess i was the stupidest person ever existed.luckily those days are gone.meet the new me.

i can be very nice but i can be very mean. u choose what u want to get from me. tips: find the right time to talk to me. if i just woke up after long hours of sleeps, that is the worst time to talk to me. sometimes i would ignore u.

that reminds me of an iban girl whom i met few days ago. at first i was very excited meeting her. sama kampong tek nak. it was until she mentioned this: kamek dah tak berapa pandai cakap bahasa sarawak koh. WTF? hello. i hate u. totally. after that i just ignored her.haha.

till then, see u again soon

p.s. i gained back some of the weight i lost before. i hate going back to kuching (well a metaphore only k)

deep within.

blue.
not socializing enough.
dont want to.
missing ur presence.
tired.
sick of gossips, not gossip girl.
denise austin, i need u.
seduction, shooh.
feeling blaire.
tuesday and thursday, must.
nate in michael way.
junior i adore, blew my sadness.
less of m i need most.
clc here i come. i promise.

till then, see u again soon.

a sinner, yes i am.

i have a confession. i have done a very huge mistake. i admitted to doing it and im guilty as charged.

i never intended to start the whole things but i cant resist the seduction. i thought i have enough strength to defeat the goddamn demon but turned out that i am not. oh lord. what have i done? i am full of regrets wishing that things are gonna be the way they were.

this time around i promise to myself i wont do such things ever again. i must be stronger!

till then, see u again soon.

p.s. 18 more subjects and i will complete my degree.cant wait.

to go or not to go?

i'm moving to cyberjaya this coming june. it's frantically sad for me to leave the old malacca. seriously. i dont know why but i kinda feel it already. to leave this house that i called home these few years. oh god. it makes me wanna cry just to think about moving.

i have few doubts that make me go back to thinking, should i go or should i not? let's say if i go. i dont have anyone that i know in class. i have to make new friends. next is i have to stay in the hostel! i have one more to year to go once i move, so it's not really a good idea to find a new house to rent. in hostel i cant smoke! some ppl might say thats good but currently it's not for me. it's the only thing left for me to entertain my emotional wrecks.sigh.

then, i have to sell off all my furnitures here in malacca. it's hard to get rid of everything. it's not everyday ppl want to buy furnitures. 2nd hand furthermore. finding a new person to rent my room is another story. it's all very tiring. in cyberjaya sayang cant lepak in my room, so no more cuddle up in the room. haha. but seriously we're not comfortable of PDA especially for him la kan. tetttt.

but there are some good points if i go. my parents and my nenek think it's good thing. they insist me to go. it will be easier for me to gerak from klia. instead of riding the stop-at-every-destination bus to seremban, then a different bus to malacca, i will only have to spend RM6.20 on transportation. (tol ka juan?). i will be nearer to sayang. so he doesnt have to drive all the way to malacca to see me anymore. so can dating everytime he cuti la kan. haha. next is i have juan to be with me in cyber. and amy too. hmmm.

right now im only 60% sure of moving. i just feel very comfortable of living in malacca. when i move, it will take time for me to adapt to the whole new environment. will it be this comfortable? i just have no idea.

till then, see u again soon.

back on track

so now i'm back in malacca.arghh.all i can think of now are exams, assignments, books, attendance and bla bla bla. it's very stressful to study! dgr malacca jer i feel like i wanna pengsan.

so much things happen during my holidays. sorry no pictures cos i lost my charger cum usb cable. u guys have any idea whether or not they sell cam charger? i desperately need one. one thing i remember the most is seeing an omputeh's dick! my god. luckily he's gorgeous cos if not i'll be dead by now.

few days back i got to know one young man from wales. his name is Oshian Conn. and her mother's name is COMEL. hahahahaha. that's how he spelled his mother's name. my goodness i tell u he's adorable, bubbly, funny and very lovable. and he's 8 by the way.so i asked him whether he got any older cousins(since he told me he's the only child), and he said: yes but they're going to NZ for a holiday. not for few days but 2 yrs. haha. my heart was jumping like hell cos i was very excited. and then he said : they're 10 and 11.OMFG. I felt like i wanna drown myself in the pool!

but nothing can beats the time i spent with my family and friends. it's precious and priceless. they make me smile with true happiness. now i'm here i feel teribly lonely. i miss all the laughs, the stupid jokes, everything. haihhh. next holiday please?

to sayang: thanks for sending me off to malacca. i appreciate it. u're the best.

till then, see u again soon.

She made me smile.

The latest addition to the family. Welcome baby Arina Zahra bt Azdhar Zulkarnain! You just made me smile cos ure too adorable.

Late Raya Post

Right now i just want to turn back the time and make it raya time again. huhu. It's a late raya post cos ive been very very extremely busy these few weeks. currently im in the middle of my final exams. im taking 4 papers and have done with 1 paper. the other two i took mcs. the reason?i enjoyed my raya too much that i didnt study at all (a bit oni la). haha.im the type of person who wont go to exams if im not fully prepared.im scared of getting bad grades.

Oh yea. I have a news. But it's just a maybe lah. Not confirmed yet. Still waiting for the other side to give their permission. Probably we're getting engaged by this year. Not in a big ceremony la and minus all the hantaran. Bertekol kata org sarawak koh. I refused to do it in a ceremony cos im still too fat to take all the good pics. Kekeke. After all it's a waste of money. But dont be too excited (ceyh sapa ka yang excited) cos its still pending.

My raya was ok but not that good cos number one: less angpao, secondly: i needed to go back to malacca on the 4th day of raya. I visited less houses this year. A few friends' and close relatives' only. My open house was on the 3rd day of raya. It sucks to celebrate raya in such a rush! Here are my raya pics. Didnt take much photos .

Me Eman and juan - celebrating juan's bday, few days before raya

Pose ala2 antm cycle 11. Fierce eyes kata dirikku haha!

Hamper from eman haha

My famous choc cheese cake LOL

Some of the cakes i baked


1st Day of Raya:

Sisters!

Me, Great-grandma and cousin Liz

Me, Kak Anny and Liz

Camwhoring di pagi raya?


Bersalam-salaman, bermaaf-maafan. My dad in the orangey yellow baju melayu.


Sabri giving out angpaos


Aunty Dollie, Me, Grandma and Great-grandma

Abang's House. Abis pak udin diloyar ku koh.


2nd Day of Raya:

Me and nenek who used to be my babysitter

Us at Farah's house


Dilla's House

3rd Day of Raya- Open House:

With my parents, siblings, and some of uncles, aunts, and cousins from my dad's side


with azid's frens. aku tauk ko jeles nak nak? taun depan balit ler


eman, juan, amal, nawi, shade, me, lynn, bob, noor


Juan, me and bob - bob's house, 7th Day of Raya


My Sweethearts:

My nephew, azam si anak tambi haha


Azam again!

Arman was infected with HFMD. Poor little boy.

Till then, see u again soon.