finally.

I would like to announce that i am getting engaged on 26th of June 2009.

I used to say that im ready to settle down and everything, but masa mr love's mom called and nak confirm pasal this thing, i freaked out. i felt like ade batu besar hit me on the head. baru terasa mcm ohhh aku muda lagi. betul ke aku dah nak kawen ni. yahhh kotan kenja tek mok nikah. dah diberik cuakkkk.

at first, his mom nak srh kawen sekarang. lagi la i takut mcm cibai. then, i told mr love that i nak kawen in 2 yrs time. after dah habes blaja and i dah start keje. but then, his dad ckp lama sgt. urghhh.. i still dont have the answer for that. it's not like i tanak kawen. i seriously want this. tapii i nak kawen pakai my own money. not my parents'.

guess what, i dah bz plan how my wedding will be. the cake, the dress, the reception. lol. been discussing with amy, farah, juan n eman. ohh n jaye pon ade lukis some dresses. haha. (btw, congrats to the the new lovebird.hee.) omg. thanks guys sbb melayan perangai gila kwn korang ni. amy lagilaaa, lukis layout reception and lekat dekat dinding beside my tilam. haha.

this is a bit lame, but terima kaseh to farah for the sweet present. i love it so so much.

i got this set. sukeeee.

Till then, see u again soon.

Especially to my dearest lovely friend...

Happy 22nd birthday to my dear farah amami marzuki that i miss so bad.
I will always pray for ur happiness and may u have a great year ahead.
I Love You to bits and pieces, so take a very good care of urself.
Cheers!

deck the halls with balls of holly fa la la la la la.

Christmas was awesome! celebrated with frens in Portuguese settlement. Here's what happened that nite:





I'm thankful to have such wonderful frens around. Love u guys to bits. Im totally gonna miss our time together.

Anyway, i would like to wish Happy New Year and Selamat menyambut Maal Hijrah to everyone. Hopefully we are going to be a better person this year.

Till then, see u again soon.

p.s. I just wanna tell u guys again that i love all of u.

OMFG...

Farah, this is a surprise for u. Pegi carik lelaki hot yg ko suk gila babi. LAWAK.

Till then, see u again soon

p.s. amy n jaye pon ade

I am the biggest camwhore.

I dont have anything to blog. Malas nak menggunakan otak. So lemme share some of the recent pics.

amy yg terpaksa menanggung keberatan kami haha


me.elle.chibi.dol.sharel comel.unte.


unte.amy.dol.me.sharel.


takde caption terlintas di dalam otak


yours truly mengegehkan dirik.


i look so flat chested here.huahuahua.


better chested here haha.


i was born a camwhore.

Yes. I bang-ed my hair. So did amy. Tribute to farah. haha. Tapi bende ni dah basi dah. Didnt blog about the hair cos wanted to surprise mr love last week.

Tapi die tak tekejut pon. Buat muka bodo jer.

Till then, see u again soon

*update: Happy 24th bday to viruschristinaaguilera! May Allah bless u always.

hotness rank.

last week celebrated dol's bday. was a small surprise party for him. it was fun lah just to hang out with frens and gelak2 sampai tak hengat dunia.

the birthday boy

our big happy family.

last weekend mmg heaven giler. at last dapat gak jumpe ngan my darling jaye after like almost 3 yrs. we did a lot of catch up sampai jaye dah tertido2. huahauhaua. jaye u kene dtg lagi tau. i miss u already. =(

then there were juan and aiman. u guys totally cheered me up. i had a lot of fun having u guys around. farah jer yang takder tau. if not mmg perfect combination gitu.

pastuh kan. someone proposed to me. an irish guy tau. korang jangan maen2. tak sangka mak ni laku jugak. ajak kawen n dok kat ireland lagi. haha. pengsan aku. kepada org perasan tu kan, jangan jeles tau. i am still a hot stuff walaupon gemuk. ade ko hot mcm aku? haha. aku tau aku keji, jangan tegur.

kasut dah sama so sama la level of hotness kami ini kan? haha

tapi kan, sayang i rindu u (walaupon i sangat suka mat salleh)

till then, see u again soon.

mental illness yang dibuat buat.

i cant wait. juan n eman are coming to malacca. jaye pon sama. jaye! u better betul2 datang tau this time. i miss u so much. we have so much to catch up.

farah, kawu bila gik mok dtg? haha. sik sempat ko dtg melawat aku yg lonely ini di melaka cos by the time kawu balit aku dah pindah to cyber. tp yg penting harus aku pegi ngagak kawu in 2010.

i cant believe how people have changed these days. good gone bad, bad gone good. it surprises me. but thank god for me, ive learned my lessons and i am a better person now. haha. harusla aku memuji diri sendiri kan.

but i have this one bad habit that im trying to get rid of. i just cant stop bitching about ppl. i wonder why do i care so much about what's happening around me. why cant i just totally ignore all of that. most of the times bcos i tak leh control my mouth. urghhh. i do feel terrible after that tapi entahla i just cant stop.

you know what. aku benci org perasan. haha. suka nak merendah2 kan aku yer? adekah kau itu sgt insecure sbb aku sememangnya dilahirkan sangat cantik walaupon aku gemuk and still ade lelaki yg nak kat aku walaupon rupa parasku ini mempunyai lelemak di sana sini? (padehal sayang je nak kat i kan sayang?haha) hmmm. entahla badul.

seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. im bitching again. haha. tp itu luahan rasa sahaja. lupakan.

anyway, happy 21st bday to aizat@dol! may Allah bless u with happiness always.

till then, see u again soon.

bila sudah tiada apa yang hendak diblogkan.

last nite i went out with amy, kurt, virus, zack, unte n S. S is not for serena ok. that would be me. huahuahua.

first we went to spectrum. ade live band. but too bad band tu syok sendiri. D-U-H-H. then, we decided to go to aloha. best nyer perasaan setelah sudah lama tidak menggoyangkan badan. mmg fun giler la. we danced mcm org gila esp virus. thanx for the fun guys.

the best part of the nite was. jeng jeng jeng. i met someone with another guy kat aloha. my goodness. i was shocked. entahla. mebbe die dah takde ape2 kot dgn the other guy. anyway, malas dah la nak layan cos it's not my problem pon kan.

tapi kan, yg bosannyer takder camera nak capture the good memories. damn. still takde masa nak g beli my cam charger. ade ke tak org jual eh? sayang, if u ade masa tlg carikkan pls.

till then, see u again soon.

*edited. S is my classmate but due to some reasons i cant reveal the name. hehe.

abusive partner is a total no no.

last nite i watched PENSIL. cerita melayu yer kengkawan. i think kuar kat astro box office jer kot. not sure whether ade kat cinema ke tak. i watched it on youtube. g la search yer.



this movie mmg worth watching. best sangat2. weiii cerita ni sedehh gilerr. i menangis mmg tak hengat dunia. kalah cerita hindustan. pegi la menonton ye kak enon2 sekalian alam semesta.

ok topic lain plak yer. today i heard a really bad news. this one girl, kene pukul dgn balak die. it was so bad that perut die some sort of bengkak sebab kenak sepak/terajang or whatsoever. anddd. kaki and belakang die berbirat sbb kene pukul pakai belt.

so why do i care? cos she's a good fren of mine. one person that i care a lot. i love her like my little sister. walaupon die adelah tua daripada saya tetapi die sangat kecik jadi saya rasa saya ini adalah kakak besar dan die adik kecik.

mcm ini lah saya dan die tapi die pendek sikit

this thing boleh dielakkan if u dump that guy betol tak? so if anyone yg terkene benda2 mcm ni pls think deeply. that guy is not the one for u. there is someone better. this thing happened to me. i was abused like hell but i took the right step which was to move on and now i am truly happy with someone better.

fight for your right and to guys out there if u care deeply for a lady u wont do such thing. say no to abuse everyone!

till then, see u again soon

dream dream dream.

last nite i was ym-ing with farah.

tiba2 terkeluarla percakapan angan2 iaitu "kami mahu membuka sebuah restoran yg di sebelahnya ada butik utk plas saiz".haha.



for this time being it will be named J-FAG. raged kan nama itu. dan kami sudah ada customer sasaran tapi identitinya harusla dirahsiakan sbb nanti saya akan gelak (juan, later i'll tell u). orang itu akan promote kepada network nya yg sgt luas. dan tupppp bisnes kami pasti pemos.

kami juga sudah ada task utk masing2. business maju kene ade plan yg gempak mcm kami. sbb tu bisnes kami sudah pasti akan maju. saya percaya dan saya yakin.

saya akan jadi chef yg bertugas di area pembuatan dessert dan juga pastry.

saya di masa hadapan.kekeke.

farah plak will cook the main dish. diva tau perempuan ini. nk jugak jadi centre of attraction. tergugat mak yg hot ni

farah, stop romensing in the kitchen ok? yahhh suk kenak berik ompuan tok.

juan will be preparing the appetiser. opening act. nuff said.

sekda laki arab. laki italian ok sik? haha

dan kami akan menghire nor shuputs menjadi pekerja kami yg akan menghabiskan banyak masa kat butik kami.die kan suka sgt keje kat kedai2 baju ni. sesuey sangat dah tu.


gegerl nak jadi ape plak? dah habes dah position kat kedai. hmmm.

tukang sapu jer?

till then, see u again soon.

p.s. gegerl jgn marah tau. mak main2 jer. gegerl jadi shareholder je lah yer. rakan tidor kata farah.
p.s.s. i hope this comes true. esp the future me haha.

back on track

so now i'm back in malacca.arghh.all i can think of now are exams, assignments, books, attendance and bla bla bla. it's very stressful to study! dgr malacca jer i feel like i wanna pengsan.

so much things happen during my holidays. sorry no pictures cos i lost my charger cum usb cable. u guys have any idea whether or not they sell cam charger? i desperately need one. one thing i remember the most is seeing an omputeh's dick! my god. luckily he's gorgeous cos if not i'll be dead by now.

few days back i got to know one young man from wales. his name is Oshian Conn. and her mother's name is COMEL. hahahahaha. that's how he spelled his mother's name. my goodness i tell u he's adorable, bubbly, funny and very lovable. and he's 8 by the way.so i asked him whether he got any older cousins(since he told me he's the only child), and he said: yes but they're going to NZ for a holiday. not for few days but 2 yrs. haha. my heart was jumping like hell cos i was very excited. and then he said : they're 10 and 11.OMFG. I felt like i wanna drown myself in the pool!

but nothing can beats the time i spent with my family and friends. it's precious and priceless. they make me smile with true happiness. now i'm here i feel teribly lonely. i miss all the laughs, the stupid jokes, everything. haihhh. next holiday please?

to sayang: thanks for sending me off to malacca. i appreciate it. u're the best.

till then, see u again soon.

Late Raya Post

Right now i just want to turn back the time and make it raya time again. huhu. It's a late raya post cos ive been very very extremely busy these few weeks. currently im in the middle of my final exams. im taking 4 papers and have done with 1 paper. the other two i took mcs. the reason?i enjoyed my raya too much that i didnt study at all (a bit oni la). haha.im the type of person who wont go to exams if im not fully prepared.im scared of getting bad grades.

Oh yea. I have a news. But it's just a maybe lah. Not confirmed yet. Still waiting for the other side to give their permission. Probably we're getting engaged by this year. Not in a big ceremony la and minus all the hantaran. Bertekol kata org sarawak koh. I refused to do it in a ceremony cos im still too fat to take all the good pics. Kekeke. After all it's a waste of money. But dont be too excited (ceyh sapa ka yang excited) cos its still pending.

My raya was ok but not that good cos number one: less angpao, secondly: i needed to go back to malacca on the 4th day of raya. I visited less houses this year. A few friends' and close relatives' only. My open house was on the 3rd day of raya. It sucks to celebrate raya in such a rush! Here are my raya pics. Didnt take much photos .

Me Eman and juan - celebrating juan's bday, few days before raya

Pose ala2 antm cycle 11. Fierce eyes kata dirikku haha!

Hamper from eman haha

My famous choc cheese cake LOL

Some of the cakes i baked


1st Day of Raya:

Sisters!

Me, Great-grandma and cousin Liz

Me, Kak Anny and Liz

Camwhoring di pagi raya?


Bersalam-salaman, bermaaf-maafan. My dad in the orangey yellow baju melayu.


Sabri giving out angpaos


Aunty Dollie, Me, Grandma and Great-grandma

Abang's House. Abis pak udin diloyar ku koh.


2nd Day of Raya:

Me and nenek who used to be my babysitter

Us at Farah's house


Dilla's House

3rd Day of Raya- Open House:

With my parents, siblings, and some of uncles, aunts, and cousins from my dad's side


with azid's frens. aku tauk ko jeles nak nak? taun depan balit ler


eman, juan, amal, nawi, shade, me, lynn, bob, noor


Juan, me and bob - bob's house, 7th Day of Raya


My Sweethearts:

My nephew, azam si anak tambi haha


Azam again!

Arman was infected with HFMD. Poor little boy.

Till then, see u again soon.

She's leaving on a jetplane

She just left. Few hours ago. Hopefully everything will be alright for her. She can now learn to be independent! hahahaha. ayat sapa ka itu? cuba teka.

Today for berbuka we ate at mcd. Me, chibi and amy and the rest of the guys except for faiz and otak2. Everything was on chibi. Thanks babe. Murah rejeki aku bulan puasa ni tau. Banyak jer org belanja. Alhamdulillah.

I dont have any plan to send her off at the airport. Everything was planned at the very last minute. Luckily otak2's car was available. At first i asked vic to accompany me but since his friend is coming over here and since dol said that it's ok for him to accompany me, i went to the airport with him and chibi (he drove of course). We left at 8.15pm right after berbuka. Thanks guys for accompanying me.

I thought it was gonna be hard for me to say goodbye to her but miraculously i didnt even cry. Maybe it was because of bank rakyat bak kata juan. I kept on thinking of what she told me. I dont know why that "statistic" person keep on telling lies to everyone. Hey Mrs Statistic dont u know that people will eventually know u are making up stories ok! Kelak bok ko tauk malu sik tauk cney mok napok muka nak nak? Kali nang suka publisiti murahan kali nak. Sampei bapak ku pun diajak begosip hal mrs statistic. Lawak eh kamek. Apa jak tek kah. Tebik posa ku mun dah time posa. nasib gk time sahor bah.

Sigek gik kali aku layap nangga muka bank rakyat kali juan oooo. Hahahaha. After saying goodbyes we left and sent juan to cyber. I insisted that he followed me back to malacca but he said no. Eh kenja kawu ya.

One more thing that makes me wonder. Why on earth the are people who keep on acting that they're so good that the rest of people in this world are useless. Keep on talking this and that yet never realize that they are actually making fun of themselves. Ridiculous. Im not saying that im that good but please lah. Wake up! Do as what u said.

Eh sigek gik. Best juak klaka bahasa tanah kelahiran ku yer. Puas ku meluahkan perasaan walaupun ada org ya netak aku klaka bahasa aku pun nak. Kali ko jeles nak sekda bahasa lain k klaka bah. Iboh loba gilak eh. Sik mak ku muji kawu gia koh.

Till then, see u again soon.

Im cluesless of how i feel

Last Saturday i went to kl. The main point : to see farah before she leaves for London. I actuually planned for a daytrip but sayang insisted that i sleep over at his house. So i did.

On Saturday i bought a 9.45am ticket but managed to use the 8.45 bus instead. Sayang fetched me at Pudu (god i hate this place so much). Later, accompanied him shopping for his baju kerja. We went to Sungei Wang. He bought 2 shirts and a pants. I sempat bought a grey long sleeved baju and a pair of flip flop. Later i bought some stuff for baking raya cookies (semangat tau!).

We reached his house around 5pm. Then i tidur till 6.30 pm. Mesti mak mentua aku menyirap jer. His mom cooked one of my favourite dish, Laksa Penang. Fuhhh. Layan sialll. The best Laksa ever. haha. suka la mak mentua aku kalo dgr. I adore her cos she cook everything on her own. Even kueh (bukan kueh raya nong). The laksa mee pon she made it herself. I ate the laksa for bbuka and sahur too. Penat je die masak nasik and lauk.

On sunday i woke up at 11am. Memang menyumpah org tua tu. haha. Watched tv and later went out to KLCC. Sayang bought another pants. Then buka puasa with hana, farah and juan at chili's. Fuhh memang kenyang stock tak leh bernafas. The meal was on farah. Thanx darling. Klak ku chia kawu topspot gik. Tunggu kawu balit la so that means next year. Haha.

Then we went to nose. I fell in love with this one shoes. Nang ku paksa ku gerek ku meli. But he said no unless i buy other shoes cos he said the shoes is ugly. I cant make up my mind and we went to Vincci hoping to find some other nice shoes. But the shoes were all crap. So melepas laa cos it was almost 9 and we needed to rush to Pudu. Then said goodbye to farah. My goodness. It was so fcking sad. i cried.

At Pudu i loan some money from sayang cos i used my money to top up my fon. I havent withdraw my money so pinjam from him. Later he called and told me i dont have to pay back and use the money to buy shoes instead. Thanx sayang. You're the best.

To Farah : Goodbye to you. I wish u the very best of luck. I will miss u so fcking much. Waaaa. Tinggal la aku juan n gegerl. Bait2 ko d sinun eh. Iboh lupak carik laki ala2 aucher k aku haha. Hope to see u again soon. Sorry sekpat anta kawu ke apot. mun ada keta mok ku pegi tp apakan daya aku ini pejalan kaki plg berjaya. Mun ku ke apot jalan kaki cepat gilak ku kurus klak. Haha. Anyway, have a safe journey. I will always pray for u.

That's why im clueless of how i feel about last weekend. Happiness? Sadness? urghh entahla. The mix of both kali tp ney satu lebeh banyak? yahhh. sekpat ku jawab.

some pics i managed to snap:



Till then, see u again soon especially to farah amami marzuki yg ku sayang gila babi.

Ramadhan

Another ramadhan.. I just cant believe how fast time flies. But this is the time ive been waiting for. I just love the feeling of ramadhan. It's very peaceful. It makes me look back to myself and makes me see what wrongs ive done. It is a holy month which makes u just wanna clean urself and repent for what u've done. The next best thing is that it is an indicator of raya is coming! haha.

This ramadhan i aim to fast for the whole month (period is an exception la kan). ive started to solat cos its been almost a yr since the last time i pray. Yea it's true i'm not a very good muslim but i'm trying to change. I wanna change my lifestyle. I want to live a more organized life. It's depressing to live like how i live currently. I can only sleep at 6am and then woke up in the evening. I feel like my life is a mess. I didnt attend most of my classes. I am totally lost.

I know i will get barred by the lecturer. Usually i will give a completely ridiculous excuse but this time i feel that ive lost my drama queen talent. haha. but seriously i cant think of any excuses. I guess i'm tired of lying. I dont have the courage to face the lecturer. Not even to send an email. urghhh. it's a total mess u see. this is what u get for not organising ur life well.

The 1st day i broke fast with sayang's family. it is sad for not having to break fast with ur own family. i in fact cried on the night before puasa. it's true that my mum insisted that i go back to kuching but it's tiring for me to travel far. plus it's puasa. so i decided not to go back. my mum called hundred thousand times (exaggerate la pulak kan.haha) to coax me to go back to kch. haha. ok it's evil i know. haha.

Talking about how fast time flies, in roughly 1 week time, farah will be flying to london for her degree. Honestly, it is heartbreaking for me. I cant call her anytime anymore. The only medium for communicating is messenger. wtf? haha. eh tak baik mencarut2 bulan baik ni tau.

Yesterday i weighed myself again. I've lost another 2 kg since the last time i weighed myself, meaning i've lost 9 kg in total. one more kg to my 1st goal. alhamdulillah.

Till then, see u again soon.

Sunshines on a cloudy day.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend. ~Henry David Thoreau

To be honest,deep in my heart I kinda dislike to make new friends, nooo not in a way that i am bitchy or whatnot (ok a lil bit bitchy lah), but it's just that i treasure my existing friends so much. ahakss. New friends mean my friends need to share the loves with the new ones. So unfair to them cos everyone wants to be my friend you know. muahahahahaha. eii perasan lebey tau i ni.

Takde la just kidding. Just that new friends mean u need to start all over again. U never know what are their true colors. What if they are going to be another bitch that's gonna ruin ur life? Then how? Cos i've experienced this. It's very traumatic. But undeniably u have to make new friends. It's very helpful to be friendly.

Friends do make ur bland life colorful. They add flavors to ur tasteless life. But as u know, too much "MSG" is bad for u. Same goes to friends. Too much drama are bad. Totally bad. U need to accept the friends they way they are. It's hard though. So, my advice: bitch about them in ur blog hahahahaha. Bodo la aku ni. Berdosa tau buat mcm tuh. Tp mulut aku ni mmg jahat, what to do? hahaha.

But i think the best thing to do is to avoid being too clingy with the friends (unless u very are sure that they can stand u). U may think that they dont mind but u shud remember that not everyone can stand ur behaviour.

For this post i'm gonna introduce a few of my closest friends.

Farah. She never fails to lend me a helping hand whenever i need one. She is the greatest friend i can ever ask for. I may say that she knows me the best, in and out. We share a lot in common (especially in terms of size haha). Bak kata org tua, pandei kawu carik kawan sama gemok. lol. I would never trade her for anyone else. She's truly an angel, who can laugh and cry with me (sak jak lebeh ke tetak).

Juan. He's totally the man. He can crack jokes anytime anywhere. Being with him, u can almost forget all the problems u have. It's very hard to see him being down. He is always full of smiles and laughters. Oh yeah, he got passion for shoes. what kind of shoes? u figure it out urself. haha.

Eman. Erk. Perlukah? Sekda bah eman. Alu kecik ati. The best thing about him: everything is on him. hahaha. but it's not the main reason he is a good friend (yerdeh k ngambik ati jak tek duhal haha). He's a good listener. U can tell him everything. He's always there for u. Just a word for u eman: money is not everything.it cant buy u friends.

Amy. She is the closest friend i have in malacca. She is the sweetest, with her motherly character. She sees only the best in u, far beyond all the flaws u have. She is willing to go through thick and thin with u. She cares about people around her. A very pretty girl with a soft heart. I reckon that she's gonna be a good mother.

Chibi. A little sister to us at home. Very good with her money (sapa accountant ni sebenarnya?). My loan institute haha. Someone i can talk to for hours lol. My gym partner.

Deera. A very soft spoken girl. The yoga instructor. You can get good tips on exercise from her. Always smiling. Org yg aku salu curi maggi haha. She loves to clean the house. Without her i dont know what our house will look like.lol.

The guys from no 8 taman dahlia. All of them are just like brothers to me. Very protective. Someone u can turn to. Great friends.

Budak2 cina. haha. people i can hang out with and just laugh together.

Vic, Tengku Bob, Ee Swak, Sara. Another great friends of mine. My darlings, who cheer my days just being with them.

To all of my friends, u guys have added bright colors to my life. I will always cherish all the memories. If i ever talk bad about u guys, that shows i do care about u. I just want u guys to be the best. You give me strength to face this cruel and unfair world. You guys are truly sunshines on my cloudy days.

Till then, see u again soon.