abusive partner is a total no no.

last nite i watched PENSIL. cerita melayu yer kengkawan. i think kuar kat astro box office jer kot. not sure whether ade kat cinema ke tak. i watched it on youtube. g la search yer.



this movie mmg worth watching. best sangat2. weiii cerita ni sedehh gilerr. i menangis mmg tak hengat dunia. kalah cerita hindustan. pegi la menonton ye kak enon2 sekalian alam semesta.

ok topic lain plak yer. today i heard a really bad news. this one girl, kene pukul dgn balak die. it was so bad that perut die some sort of bengkak sebab kenak sepak/terajang or whatsoever. anddd. kaki and belakang die berbirat sbb kene pukul pakai belt.

so why do i care? cos she's a good fren of mine. one person that i care a lot. i love her like my little sister. walaupon die adelah tua daripada saya tetapi die sangat kecik jadi saya rasa saya ini adalah kakak besar dan die adik kecik.

mcm ini lah saya dan die tapi die pendek sikit

this thing boleh dielakkan if u dump that guy betol tak? so if anyone yg terkene benda2 mcm ni pls think deeply. that guy is not the one for u. there is someone better. this thing happened to me. i was abused like hell but i took the right step which was to move on and now i am truly happy with someone better.

fight for your right and to guys out there if u care deeply for a lady u wont do such thing. say no to abuse everyone!

till then, see u again soon

dream dream dream.

last nite i was ym-ing with farah.

tiba2 terkeluarla percakapan angan2 iaitu "kami mahu membuka sebuah restoran yg di sebelahnya ada butik utk plas saiz".haha.



for this time being it will be named J-FAG. raged kan nama itu. dan kami sudah ada customer sasaran tapi identitinya harusla dirahsiakan sbb nanti saya akan gelak (juan, later i'll tell u). orang itu akan promote kepada network nya yg sgt luas. dan tupppp bisnes kami pasti pemos.

kami juga sudah ada task utk masing2. business maju kene ade plan yg gempak mcm kami. sbb tu bisnes kami sudah pasti akan maju. saya percaya dan saya yakin.

saya akan jadi chef yg bertugas di area pembuatan dessert dan juga pastry.

saya di masa hadapan.kekeke.

farah plak will cook the main dish. diva tau perempuan ini. nk jugak jadi centre of attraction. tergugat mak yg hot ni

farah, stop romensing in the kitchen ok? yahhh suk kenak berik ompuan tok.

juan will be preparing the appetiser. opening act. nuff said.

sekda laki arab. laki italian ok sik? haha

dan kami akan menghire nor shuputs menjadi pekerja kami yg akan menghabiskan banyak masa kat butik kami.die kan suka sgt keje kat kedai2 baju ni. sesuey sangat dah tu.


gegerl nak jadi ape plak? dah habes dah position kat kedai. hmmm.

tukang sapu jer?

till then, see u again soon.

p.s. gegerl jgn marah tau. mak main2 jer. gegerl jadi shareholder je lah yer. rakan tidor kata farah.
p.s.s. i hope this comes true. esp the future me haha.

krazy thought for the day.

i think i wanna be a vegetarian. haha.

just now me n chibi went makan at ixora. at first ingat nak makan bakso but then i want to eat sayur sayuran. bakso ade veges but ciput nyerrr. kedekut tau abg cina kedai indo rasa tu.

so i went to the vegetarian stall. i took so many types of sayur sayuran: four angle beans, encik labu, mushroom n egg tofu, tofu yg konon2 nya ayam tp tak rasa sgt pon mcm ayam and also tofu yg rasanya mcm ikan masak sweet sour.

i swear mmg sedap gilerrrrrr. and utk semua sekali sayur sayuran itu i was charged rm2.60! just imagine my pinggan is so very the penuh. i thought akan kene rm4 ke.

omg. sangat la interesting makan sayuran itu. tu yg tiba2 terasa nak jadi vegetarian. murah sedap mengenyangkan dan juga sangat menyihatkan utk org gemuk mcm i ni.

bolela jadi kurus mcm ini kan.haha.berangan lebey tau.

tp kan lepas tu i tak puas. i went back to the stall n amek OKRA (yerrr tekenang farah koh), ikan fake itu dan ade lagi egg tofu. hahahahahaha. lepas itu baru saya puas hati.

erk.terasa i tau.

so i think i wanna be vegetarian for certain days only lah cos i wont give up my fetish(mcm geli jer dgr) for chicken and ikan dan lembu dan kambing dan segala species binatang yg saya suka. tp fetish utk makan saja ler. saya tidak sayang binatang2 itu.

till then, see u again soon.

where art thou stamina?

i dropped another 1 kg today. makes me weigh 92kg.

i just feel good today. yesterday sucks cos sayang went back. but today i'm feeling totally great. plus after the loss of 1kg although i ate mcm babi last 3 days.

i am proud of myself cos now i am able to run. the old me couldnt run and dont want to. but now i would say i have a new hobby which is to exercise.

but i still lack of stamina. i ran out of breath easily. plus im smoking. so now i would wait at least 2 hours after smoking, then only i exercise.

my goal after i have enough energy+stamina: to play serious tennis(running ok) haha.

today me n chibi accompanied amy to her netball training and all the girls forced me to join together. but how in the hell i wanna play? i dont even know how to play and now i am unofficially blind if i dont wear my specs. but i ran 2 rounds of the court though, just to satisfy their request haha.susah org glemer ni tau.

i am determined to exercise as much as i can cos i love it now.

till then, see u again soon

i decided not to put my food and exercise journal in my blog anymore as i know people laugh at me.

till then, see u again soon.

20.11.2008 Day 4, Week 1 Healthy Living Program

To farah: no worries. apology accepted. muahahahaha.

yesterday i weighed myself. it was a nightmare just to berdiri atas penimbang sakti itu. but turned out aku sangat la bahagia. i lost 2 kg after gaining 4 kg during holiday. i've only started for a few days. i am soooo excited. and sayang came last night around 3am. Gosh i'm still shocked.

the reason i decided to lose weight in the first place was because my weight reached 100kg. Then, after 2 months plus dieting and exercising, i was 91kg, just before going back to kch. then i gained back to 95kg after raya. and now i am 93kg.

Food
I cant remember the time i ate yesterday.
Morning - One egg omellette w/out any oil or salt. 3 tablespoon of oat and some milk.
Noon - Ikan keli, one egg, i dont know the name of the vege.
Evening - One skrem duak posen tp rega nya tiga posen. One piece of choc cookies(low cal one)
Night - One handful of honey star
4.00 am - I decided to treat myself so i ate Roti Sandwich and i curi a lil bit of sayang's maggi.

Exercise
30 minutes walking
25 minutes on a stepper

Till then, see u again soon.

19.11.08 Day 3, Week 1 Healthy Living Program

i didnt go to class today.i woke up late again! we supposed to climb up bukit beruang again today but sadly it was raining heavily. so plan cancelled.

Food:
4.30pm one glass of fat free yogurt drink
5.30pm one piece of biscuit (i dont know the name)
7.30pm approx. one and a half palm size serving of beef, one begedil, one piece chicken liver, one cup of kangkong.
9.30pm a lil bit of mamee monster i took from chibi
12.45pm two tiny slices of beef cocktail + one handful honey stars

Exercise:
6.45pm 15 minutes walking
11.10pm 15 minutes walking+jogging

Till then, see u again soon

p.s. im thinking of blogging in BM.hmmm.still considering.

18.11.2008 Day 2 Week 1 Healthy Living Program

dont read if u think it's boring and u think u wanna make fun of me. this is my food and exercise journal.

basically, this is the new program started yesterday. i promise to myself i will record everything i eat and every activities i do for everyday so that i can monitor my healthy living program.

food:
4.30 pm ( i woke up late today haha) - 150g low fat strawberry yogurt
8.30pm - one medium size fish, one cup of spinach, egg tofu, tempe+tofu.
12.00am - one glass of yogurt drink
1.50am - 3 jacobs hi fibre low salt with tuna and peanut butter+jelly
exercise:
15 minutes of walking
45 minutes of walking

till then, see u again soon

of ciggy and girls.

smoking. suddently i remember my dad once said "smoking is mmu female students' identity is it?" i just laughed.

so, is it wrong for girls to smoke?

for me it's not a big problem since i smoke too. it doesnt mean that all those girls are sluts. it's just not a nice view to see. it's a very bad image to the girls (including me, i know).

but it's a big problem IF u smoke cos u try to be cool, want to be in the clique. and IF u try to show off that u're smoking. hello! it's not cool ok. u look bad. i hate it if girls smoke in front of the elders. i only smoke if there is no elders around or the elders i know that doesnt mind.

sadly, i admit that when i started smoking 7 years ago it was because i want to look cool but as i grow up i realize it's not for the show anymore. i am addicted.i feel quite regretful to start smoking in the first place.

how i wish i could stop but i guess i am not ready yet. it's my only way out of my misery. ceyh. but it has affected me now. i ran out of breath easily, i always have sore throat and etc.

so girls or even guys, please dont ever try to smoke. it's not good for ur health and ur image too. it's totally not cool ok.trust me.

till then, see u again soon.

Youthsays?

yesterday farah told me about youthsays. i was like what? ok. so today i google youthsays and what i found is very interesting. you get paid for taking surveys, etc.!

if u haven't joint, u better do so. earn some money while blogging. after all u have nothing to lose. click here to join. enjoy earning some money and voice out ur opinion!

another one

lupak. just now while i was walking, some kids perli me cos i exercise. i gave them middlefinger.

wtf. at least i exercise. i have some efforts to lose weight. salah ke if orang gemuk exercise? dah aku gemuk ko jugak kutuk kan. i hate those stupid people. fuck you and go to hell. harap2 ko dapat bini gemuk. i hate u.

till then, fuck u motherfuckers.

sense of accomplishment.

today i had my 1st presentation for this trimester. it was about my hometown. it was ok i think but i was rambling until this came out: we don't live on trees, we do wear clothes and we dont walk on bare foot. all my classmates including the lecturer laugh like mad. haha.

and guess what. the lecturer asked me why didnt i mention about the spring cos it has one attraction which is : TA KIONG. i was like, huh? ok.

the best thing happened today. for the first time in i cant remember how many years i walked for almost 3 miles.

and even better i officially step my feet on the bear hill for the 1st time ever (yer. sak nama nya bukit beruang). i managed to climb halfway and i am proud of it cos i climbed after i walked from taman dahlia to bunga raya. the bukit is very steep and me being scared of height i felt like falling down. it is fcking scary.

since this blog is actually some kind of my journal throughout my weight loss process, i wanna list down what i ate today.

breakfast: 3 tablespoon of instant oat with a lil bit of milk - around 9 am.
lunch: one ikan kembong with approx. one cup of spinach - 12pm
snack: one handful honey stars - 4.30pm
dinner: one glass of mango juice with 4 pieces of the tiny milo bars - 7.30pm
supper: 3 jacob hi fibre low salt with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter+jelly

btw, i still dont have the guts to weigh myself after the holiday. i am just too scared.

till then, see u again soon.

rintihan anak tiri.

sayang, u adelah sgt kejam.
oklah u tak kejam.
orang HR kat office u tu kejam.
die jeles la tu kan sayang.
kalo u tak dtg sape nk dodo kan i.
tamo la tunggu lama2.
i dah rindu la.
sayang cepat2 datang tau sayang.
i tunggu.

randomness.

last nite amy mentioned: "surprisingly i am still in love with kurt the way i did 2 yrs ago".

yes. that's how i feel towards sayang. it's still clear in my mind how we ended up being together. we just hang out and kept on talking talking and talking. we watched movies together on his pc. it's amazing, you know, reminiscing to good old memories. makes me miss him more.sigh.

if u guys ask me do i miss my high school years. i would say no. to me that was the downturn of my life.too many things happened.too many people were hurt by me.i guess i was the stupidest person ever existed.luckily those days are gone.meet the new me.

i can be very nice but i can be very mean. u choose what u want to get from me. tips: find the right time to talk to me. if i just woke up after long hours of sleeps, that is the worst time to talk to me. sometimes i would ignore u.

that reminds me of an iban girl whom i met few days ago. at first i was very excited meeting her. sama kampong tek nak. it was until she mentioned this: kamek dah tak berapa pandai cakap bahasa sarawak koh. WTF? hello. i hate u. totally. after that i just ignored her.haha.

till then, see u again soon

p.s. i gained back some of the weight i lost before. i hate going back to kuching (well a metaphore only k)

deep within.

blue.
not socializing enough.
dont want to.
missing ur presence.
tired.
sick of gossips, not gossip girl.
denise austin, i need u.
seduction, shooh.
feeling blaire.
tuesday and thursday, must.
nate in michael way.
junior i adore, blew my sadness.
less of m i need most.
clc here i come. i promise.

till then, see u again soon.

a sinner, yes i am.

i have a confession. i have done a very huge mistake. i admitted to doing it and im guilty as charged.

i never intended to start the whole things but i cant resist the seduction. i thought i have enough strength to defeat the goddamn demon but turned out that i am not. oh lord. what have i done? i am full of regrets wishing that things are gonna be the way they were.

this time around i promise to myself i wont do such things ever again. i must be stronger!

till then, see u again soon.

p.s. 18 more subjects and i will complete my degree.cant wait.

to go or not to go?

i'm moving to cyberjaya this coming june. it's frantically sad for me to leave the old malacca. seriously. i dont know why but i kinda feel it already. to leave this house that i called home these few years. oh god. it makes me wanna cry just to think about moving.

i have few doubts that make me go back to thinking, should i go or should i not? let's say if i go. i dont have anyone that i know in class. i have to make new friends. next is i have to stay in the hostel! i have one more to year to go once i move, so it's not really a good idea to find a new house to rent. in hostel i cant smoke! some ppl might say thats good but currently it's not for me. it's the only thing left for me to entertain my emotional wrecks.sigh.

then, i have to sell off all my furnitures here in malacca. it's hard to get rid of everything. it's not everyday ppl want to buy furnitures. 2nd hand furthermore. finding a new person to rent my room is another story. it's all very tiring. in cyberjaya sayang cant lepak in my room, so no more cuddle up in the room. haha. but seriously we're not comfortable of PDA especially for him la kan. tetttt.

but there are some good points if i go. my parents and my nenek think it's good thing. they insist me to go. it will be easier for me to gerak from klia. instead of riding the stop-at-every-destination bus to seremban, then a different bus to malacca, i will only have to spend RM6.20 on transportation. (tol ka juan?). i will be nearer to sayang. so he doesnt have to drive all the way to malacca to see me anymore. so can dating everytime he cuti la kan. haha. next is i have juan to be with me in cyber. and amy too. hmmm.

right now im only 60% sure of moving. i just feel very comfortable of living in malacca. when i move, it will take time for me to adapt to the whole new environment. will it be this comfortable? i just have no idea.

till then, see u again soon.

back on track

so now i'm back in malacca.arghh.all i can think of now are exams, assignments, books, attendance and bla bla bla. it's very stressful to study! dgr malacca jer i feel like i wanna pengsan.

so much things happen during my holidays. sorry no pictures cos i lost my charger cum usb cable. u guys have any idea whether or not they sell cam charger? i desperately need one. one thing i remember the most is seeing an omputeh's dick! my god. luckily he's gorgeous cos if not i'll be dead by now.

few days back i got to know one young man from wales. his name is Oshian Conn. and her mother's name is COMEL. hahahahaha. that's how he spelled his mother's name. my goodness i tell u he's adorable, bubbly, funny and very lovable. and he's 8 by the way.so i asked him whether he got any older cousins(since he told me he's the only child), and he said: yes but they're going to NZ for a holiday. not for few days but 2 yrs. haha. my heart was jumping like hell cos i was very excited. and then he said : they're 10 and 11.OMFG. I felt like i wanna drown myself in the pool!

but nothing can beats the time i spent with my family and friends. it's precious and priceless. they make me smile with true happiness. now i'm here i feel teribly lonely. i miss all the laughs, the stupid jokes, everything. haihhh. next holiday please?

to sayang: thanks for sending me off to malacca. i appreciate it. u're the best.

till then, see u again soon.